


All or Nothing

by ohwhatamessiam28



Series: Anyone Else: Bucky Barnes & Reader [2]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types, Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Abduction, Bucky Barnes Angst, Bucky Barnes Feels, Bucky Barnes Fluff, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Bucky Barnes is heartbroken, F/F, F/M, I don't do action scenes but I guess I do now, I'm Bad At Tagging, I'm Sorry, Marvel Universe, Original Character will be important, POV Bisexual Character, Post-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), Protective Bucky Barnes, Protective Sam Wilson, Protective Steve Rogers, Reader-Insert, Sam Wilson Is a Good Bro, Steve Rogers still has feelings for Bucky Barnes, This is a continuation of give, Time Jump, Wanda Maximoff is the Avengers' mom, bisexual reader, but like it never happened/didn't matter, some feelings, some violence, y'all I don't have time to acknowledge what the mcu writers did after I started this
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-06
Updated: 2018-12-21
Packaged: 2019-02-11 04:36:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 33,415
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12927600
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ohwhatamessiam28/pseuds/ohwhatamessiam28
Summary: Almost two years after she left him, Bucky is still trying to move on from their relationship. But when one of his nightmares begins unfolding in real life, he and the team must do what it takes to find her before it’s too late. Will she survive this? Is there any hope for their relationship to begin again? And will Bucky ever get closure?This is the sequel to Give.





	1. Prologue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just a little sneak peek of what's to come. Third person, Sam Wilson's POV.

Playlist for entire fic:

 

“He’ll have a weapons speciali-,” Tony Stark said, as he swiped to another file on an internationally wanted criminal.

The chorus to “I Never Loved A Man” by Aretha Franklin blared from Sam Wilson’s phone, stopping Tony mid-sentence and drawing every Avenger at the briefing table’s attention to him. Pulling the phone from his pocket, Sam cursed himself silently for forgetting to place it on vibrate. It continued to ring as he stared at her contact name, South Bi Midwest, the nickname he’d given her after the last weekend he’d stayed with her in Virginia. A sinking feeling started in his gut. She wouldn’t call unless something was wrong.

“As much as we all respect Aretha, we’re in the middle of a briefing Sam,” Tony quipped, only a slight edge of humor softening his words.

“Is it something important?” Steve asked, noticing how Sam’s posture had shifted and his eyes went wide.

Ignoring Stark’s sass, Sam glanced at Steve and nodded, “It might be.” Standing from his seat and walking quickly out of the room, he swiped to answer.

“Hello? (Y/N)?” he asked as he leaned against the door frame.

“Hi Sam. No, no, it’s actually Nikki,” a woman responded, her voice strained.

“Um-,” he began, trying to remember who she was. “Oh, hi Nikki, why are you calling me on (Y/N)’s phone?” He’d only met her once, but he’d heard (Y/N) gush about her girlfriend for months now.

“Uh Sam, s-she’s gone,” what sounded like a sob breaking her words up.

“What do you mean ‘she’s gone’?” Sam’s heart sped as he began pacing.

“We just got out of a movie for date night, and s-some guys in a black SUV just showed up and grabbed her. She’s just, gone.”

“No, no,” he reached for the door, anger already rising in his chest. “Wh-, why would they take her?”

“I-, I don’t know. They just threw me her phone and made her tell me what your contact name was.”

“Okay, okay.” Forcing himself to take a deep breath, he continued, “Where are you?”

“The theatre 2 blocks from her apartment.”

“Alright, sit tight if you can. We’ll be there as soon as possible.”

“I’ll wait in my car,” she answered, her voice nearly a whimper. Sam entered the room, his eyes meeting Steve’s immediately. “Sam, please hurry.”

“I promise we will.” He could have laughed at that thought. They’d be flying faster than the speed of sound.

“And Sam.”

“Yeah?” he asked, clapping a hand down on Steve’s shoulder.

“They shot her.”

Sam stopped breathing.


	2. Gone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A cute date night goes awry, Bucky finds himself in a nightmare.   
> First person POV for reader scenes, third person POV scenes for everyone else.

“I didn’t know how they were gonna fit all those details into a two hour movie but they did it really well. I mean, even the set design was so realistic to what the books always depicted!” I enthused as I turned to Nikki, my girlfriend of 8 months to find a huge grin spread across her face. “What?”

“Nothing!” she shook her head as she shrugged, the smile remaining on her lips.

“No, tell me! What is it?” I asked, turning to walk backwards so I could look at her.

“It’s nothing, you’re just, you’re really cute when you geek out about things,” she answered, hiding her face in hands.

“Oh my god, I love your dorky ass,” I grinned, gripping her wrists to lower them from her face. Her cheeks were flushed as I continued to pull her down the sidewalk and closer to where we’d parked. “You know that right?”

“Yes, I do,” she nodded, her eyes shining with affection. One of my heels dipped into a hole, causing me to lose my footing and I shot my arms out for balance. Her hands snaked out for my waist as she tried to steady me. Once I knew we weren’t gonna crash on the concrete, I started laughing as I pulled her against me.

“I’m not even drunk and I’m already a clumsy mess!” I chuckled into her dark hair.

“You’ve never needed alcohol to stumble around, (Y/N),” she pulled away from me with a sly smile on her lips.

“So I’m always a mess?”

“Oh definitely. But a really hot one,” she agreed as she raised her brows.

“I’m a hot geeky mess then?” I beamed at her, feeling a blush already creeping across my cheeks.

“Yep, you’re my hot, geeky mess.” Her fingers brushed a strand of hair from my face as she rose on her toes. “And I love you for it.”

Our lips brushed as she wrapped her arms around my waist, pulling me into her. Moving my own hands to her face, I kissed her back. She smiled against my lips and I wrapped my arms around her shoulders.

Holding her against me, I almost didn’t hear the engine of a black SUV pull up or it’s lights bounce past us.

Our mouths separated as she leaned back on her feet and loosened her grip on my waist. “Let’s go home,” she suggested as she turned to lead me to her car. I followed her further down the sidewalk, ignoring the sounds of the SUV’s engine cutting off, and its light’s going out. Doors opened and shut behind us, but I kept walking to her blue Toyota, thinking about cuddling in bed when we got home.

Boots pounded against the pavement and I couldn’t focus on Nikki any longer. I let go of her hand as I turned on my heel to see what was coming. A man in all black shoved me out of the way before he wrapped his arms around Nikki’s body. Keeping her arms pinned to her side, he lifted her off the ground and attempted to carry her past me. Another man in black appeared beside me and shot his hand out to grab my elbow. I smacked his elbow down forcing him to lose his grip, before I planted a hard kick to his hip to keep him away from me. Nikki swung her legs and shouted as I ran to get to her.

“Idiot, she’s not the one we want,” a huge, bald man yelled as he stepped out of the SUV. He wore a black shirt and camo military pants. Another man in all black stepped out of the back of the vehicle and set his sights on me.

The one carrying Nikki set her back on the ground but she was ready to fight. Digging her heel into his foot, she took her opening and jabbed her elbow into his ribs. “Bitch,” he yelped. He hoisted her into the air before throwing her against the cement. Her head smacked the ground hard.

“Nikki!” I shouted as I slid to my knees in front of her. The man who’d grabbed her yanked at my hair, pulling my head back sharply and I tried my best not to scream. Aiming for his groin, I punched as hard as I could and then grabbed his ankle to yank him to the ground. He hit the concrete with a satisfying groan and thud. Nikki’s eyes opened to me as I caressed her face and examined her head, “Can you see me?”

No blood was trickling out of her ears and nose which was a good sign. “Yeah, you’re just kinda blurry. And my head really hurts,” she answered softly. I almost laughed in relief. “Behind you!” she warned and I stood back up.

Arms wrapped around my upper body with enough force to tackle me to the ground. Trying to remember the techniques Nat taught me, I held onto his arms as I went down on a knee and used his momentum and my core to throw his body over my head. As I got back up, the two other men in black each seized one of my arms. The one on my left landed a hard punch on my jaw, and I rolled my head in an attempt to stop the vibrations in my skull. Tugging my right elbow into my body, I shot the same leg out and thrust one of them several steps back. Turning to the one on my left, I swung wide and smacked the front of his face hard before I landed a forceful kick to his knee, and heard a crunch as he crumbled to the ground.

The one who was on my right lunged for me and just as his torso came near me, I brought a sharp knee into his groin. His body weight fell onto me and as he collapsed I used one of Nat’s favorite moves and brought my elbow down on his head. As I turned to whoever was coming for me next, I realized how heavily I was breathing. Nat could have done this without breaking a sweat.

The large, bald man, wearing the camo pants stood several feet in front of me with a gun pointed at Nikki’s head. “Take another step and I blow her brains out,” he warned, his voice a deep growl.

I stood still then, peeking over to make sure she was okay. The one she’d elbowed and I’d punched in the groin, delivered a sharp kick to her gut and I nearly ran to her.

“Really?” the big man, who was clearly in charge, snapped at the other. As he turned his attention to his inferior I started running.

Two shots rang through the air.

All my breath left my lungs and I felt like I was being ripped apart. I turned to Nikki, praying that she was okay, that those were just warning shots.

Her eyes were wide as she stared at me, and only when she screamed, “No!” did I realize that she was okay.

I turned back to the giant and saw that his gun was already re-holstered. His eyes, even in the dark, were filled with worry. I followed his line of sight and registered why. Two spots of blood slowly spread across the front of my shirt. As I pressed my hands to my abdomen and felt the sting of open flesh, I finally understood that I was the one who got shot.

The rest happened so quickly that I could barely comprehend it. The huge man moved toward me as he yelled at the man standing next to Nikki with his gun drawn, “You dumbass! We need her alive!” The leader’s large arms lifted me off the ground with little effort and I swatted at his chest but he looked down at me with sympathy in his eyes. “Don’t fight me, keep applying pressure to wherever it hurts.”

I followed his orders. The one who I’d elbowed in the head fished my phone out of my back pocket and tossed it to Nikki. The glass sounded like it cracked but maybe that was just my bones responding to my attempt at breathing. Arms tightened around my body, encouraging me to pay attention, and as the large man asked his question again I forced myself to nod. “It-it’s Sammi, with two m’s and an i,” I managed to say loud enough for Nikki to hear. She nodded at me and I focused back on my hands that were already slick with blood.

The men hustled me into the SUV, the leader staying with me in the backseat to make sure I didn’t bleed out too much. As the car started moving, I knew an argument was going on but I couldn’t pay attention to the bickering. Lifting my hands to my face, I finally saw how red they were.

“Well fuck,” I whispered.

The man holding me chuckled before replacing my hands with his own. “Well fuck is right,” was the last thing I heard before I felt a sting on my bicep. My vision became foggy and I just prayed that Sam would get to Nikki in enough time.

* * *

Bucky felt so cold that he almost thought he was frozen again. He was standing in the dark, eyes trying to find any crack of light. A playful screech came from somewhere on his right and he moved toward it. After a few steps his body hit something hard and flat, and he groped the barrier for any difference in shape. He heard a small whimper then, and he hurried his attempts at finding a break in the wall.

As he felt along the cool surface his fingers finally found a small crack in it. Pulling his left arm back, he punched as hard as he could. A tiny shred of light appeared where he had hit and it was enough to motivate him to punch there again. And again, and again, and again.

When his fist finally broke through the barrier he saw a golden light so bright it nearly blinded him. As he stepped into this new space, his eyes adjusted and he took in the entire room. It was his room in Bucharest, the newspapers on the windows, his chips still sitting on top of the fridge, and the shitty coffee pot sitting next to the coffee maker. His eyes found his bed and suddenly he felt warm.

A beam of light landed on his mattress, and he saw the most holy sight he’d seen in his entire life. (Y/N) was curled onto her side, head resting against his chest. His metal arm was wrapped around her protectively and her arm held onto his waist. The Bucky that laid there with her was watching her sleep, her breath brushing his skin gently. He slipped his left hand up to her hair, stroking it gently as he smiled at her.

This was the moment that Bucky knew he loved her.

Sure, he’d told her that he thought he loved her, and he had, but everything up to that moment had been so shaky for him. It had been years since he’d felt any of these emotions, and one bold lady who lived downstairs had somehow brought all of these feelings back to him. He felt almost human again. Almost like the person he should have been.

This exact morning had been the first time he’d woken without the monster gnawing at his conscience. The asset was nowhere to be found in his head, only the reminder of him on his arm, and he wanted this to last forever. Maybe it was selfish, but he never wanted to spend another morning thinking about anything but her. Never wanted to wake up without her body against him.

Yet, that wishful thinking had been wasted. He’d been without her for nearly four years, but only two of those he could remember.

The him in that moment leaned his head forward and pressed a small kiss to her temple. He whispered, “Te iubesc.” He knew she was asleep, and even if she wasn’t she probably wouldn’t have understood him, but he wanted to test the words on his tongue first. He repeated them another time, “Te iubesc.” They felt perfect. “Te iubesc,” he murmured against her hair.  _I love you._

A low moan came from behind him and he turned to locate it. The sound occurred again and he moved to find it. He opened the bathroom door first to see it was empty inside. He moved to the closet next, and as he yanked it open the light in the room changed completely.

Gold turned to gray and black, and as he turned back to his apartment, it was no longer his.

The far end of the room was dark except the cracks of light coming through the window above the large bed in the corner. A smothered gasp echoed from that side of the room. Fear shot through Bucky and he moved toward that side of the room until he heard a soft giggle.

No, no no. He didn’t want to see this. This dream had been the first pleasant one in weeks. But of course his own subconscious wouldn’t let him be happy.

A low groan came from the bed, followed by a whimpered, “Oh my god, yes.” The cracks of light hit her face and he wanted to run away as fast as possible, but his legs wouldn’t move. He was forced to stand there and watch her lips fall open as her eyes screwed shut in pleasure. “Fuck,” she gasped, “right there, oh fuck.” Her hair moved around her face and a flush crept up her chest and neck.

A deep groan came from somewhere near her, where the light couldn’t reach. The sound of flesh meeting flesh carried throughout the room, followed by a whine from her mouth. Bucky willed himself to be anywhere but there, to be seeing anything but this, but he couldn’t seem to escape it. The thumping of the bed hitting the wall seemed to surround him, somehow growing closer with each second.

A door slammed shut, prompting Bucky upright in bed. He was covered in sweat, his hair damp against his skin. Feet moved quickly down the hallway and he heard a quiet, “No, no, no no no…”

Pushing his sheets back he walked to his door quickly and pulled it open to see Wanda’s hair flaring behind her as she turned the corner. Stepping into the hallway, he noticed that neither Steve nor Sam’s doors were locked. They were supposed to be leaving for a mission tonight, so their doors should have been locked and their bags should have been sitting next to them. Yet as Bucky peered into each of their rooms, he noticed neither had finished packing.

He followed Wanda’s trail, her chant of “no” leading him down to the conference and mission wing. The rest of headquarters sounded eerily quiet except for Wanda’s words. He reached the balcony overlooking the indoor section of the hangar to find Tony, Steve, and Sam huddled together near a quinjet. They were supposed to be taking a larger plane for the mission overseas.

“Tell me it’s not true,” Wanda spoke loudly, fear rattling her voice as she approached the men.

“Dammit Wanda, I told you not to listen to my thoughts!” Sam reacted first, breaking their quiet conversation off.

“I was asleep, you know I can’t always control it when I’m unconscious,” she answered, growing quieter as her nerves took back over. “Tell me it isn’t true.”

“Wanda,” Steve sighed, his eyes clearly betraying whatever was wrong to her immediately.

“No, no. This can’t be happening, you have to go on a mission tonight. You need to be there.”

“Hey, I’m still going. Vision’s coming now too,” Tony cut in, a hand resting on Wanda’s shoulder in an attempt to calm her.

“Yeah, and Nat’s still going,” Steve reassured her. “They’re taking Scott and Peter too, they just have to wait a little longer to leave.”

She pushed her shoulders back as she stared down Sam and Steve, “You’re not doing this alone. I’m going with you.”

“Wanda, if you don’t stay behind then what do you think will happen when he wakes up alone here?” Sam asked, making a clear reference to Bucky.

“You can say his name Sam. He followed me down here,” she sighed, taking a step back and pointing to Bucky standing in the doorway.

Tony rolled his eyes while Sam and Steve both tried to make their expressions seem neutral. Bucky finally shifted from his fixed position, his hand reaching for the railing in front of him.

“What’s going on, guys?” he asked, making direct eye contact with Steve. Wanda turned to him, her lips pursed as Sam and Steve exchanged glances. “Come on Steve, don’t sugarcoat it.”

“Well, uh, (Y/N)-,” he started but kept searching for the right words.

Sam grimaced and cut Steve off, “(Y/N) just got taken.”

“What do you mean?” Bucky asked, anger rising in his chest as his grip tightened on the metal in his hands.

“Not the railing!” Tony yelped before anyone answered, but Bucky paid him no attention.

Steve sighed, hoping that getting this over with quickly, and from his mouth, would help. “She’s gone, Buck.”

It didn’t help.

Bucky ripped the railing off the balcony.


	3. Critical

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The team rushes to investigate, reader is operated on.  
> *Waking up during surgery warning.*

The team had changed and loaded into the quinjet as quickly as possible. They’d opted for civilian clothing, hoping it would help them fit in and prevent any unwanted attention from the public. Traveling as quickly as the jet would take them, they made it from New York to Virginia in about 30 minutes.

As Steve angled the plane for landing, Sam muttered, “You know I always get nervous when you’re flying. Don’t need your selfless ass taking us all down.”

Steve rolled his eyes and caught Sam watching him with a smirk on his lips. “Last time I checked, I had more piloting experience than you,” Steve shrugged.

“I literally fly Steve,” Sam narrowed his eyes as he tilted his head. “That’s what I do.”

Steve felt the laugh building in his chest but ignored it. “Yeah, but this plane is a lot bigger than your wings.” Sam shook his head and turned back to the world in front of him, watching as the city came into view. “Is it bad that I could laugh right now?” Steve asked quietly, peeking over his shoulder to glance at Bucky.

He sat across from Wanda, his gloved hands clenched tightly together and his back as straight as physically possible. Anyone else might have gotten caught on the harsh line of his jaw or his stiff form, but Steve could see the panic in his eyes. The way he tried to stare at one spot on the plane and keep all his focus there, but his eyes were wide and soft. The Bucky he had found digging for liquor in the kitchen the day after (Y/N) had broke up with him was there, trying to hold it together, distracting himself from the pain.

This was the same look he’d given Steve so many times when Steve would wake him up from a bad dream in the middle of the night. The way his eyes would look shocked and worried the moment he was pulled out, but then he’d harden the rest of his features to try to hide his distress. Of course Steve had been the one to wake him up from most of his nightmares in the past two years, and this look was only reserved for the ones involving (Y/N). The Winter Soldier dreams he always shook off easier. Just took a deep breath and told Steve it was alright, just his conscience trying to screw with him. And no matter how much Steve persisted, Bucky would never elaborate on any of the terrors, but the ones featuring her he would completely shut down about. Waving Steve off or just shaking his head sharply. No elaboration, just his refusal to speak. Secretly, Steve thought Bucky’s clenched jaw was his attempt at keeping all the emotions inside, preventing himself from screaming or sobbing.

“Not really,” Sam replied, glancing back at Wanda. “It’s going to be a tense night. This attack was personal, so get it out while you can.” Wanda wore her anxiety more openly. Her legs were pulled into her chest and she rested her forehead on her knees. Her hands were knotted together and resting on her feet. Sam was sure that if she hadn’t been grounding herself, her powers would have already tore them out of the sky.

He turned back to the windshield to watch Steve lower the plane onto a field that sat behind an office park. As Steve flicked off several controls, Sam unbuckled from his seat and leaned toward him. Squeezing Steve’s shoulder, he left his last piece of optimism on the plane, “She’d want us to be able to laugh, regardless of what is happening.”

* * *

Nikki waited in her car for a little over a half hour before she saw a group of people step out of the alley behind the theatre. Her head was still pounding and ringing, and her hands hadn’t stopped shaking the entire time, but she swallowed her nerves and thrust her door open.

Sam picked up his speed, reaching her first as she braced herself against the hood. His arms wrapped around her quickly and he held onto her longer than she expected from a man she’d only met once. As his hands gently rubbed her back she realized why. Sam’s grip tightened as her sobs grew louder, and she was grateful his jacket muffled her voice.

Steve and Bucky surveilled the area, noting how open the location was and that there were clearly security cameras attached to the building. As she made it to Sam, Wanda nearly reached a hand out to the woman, wishing to soothe her distress, but thought it better to get answers first. Although the space was completely open to the public, the veil of night and the screeches of cicadas kept the group well covered.

Wiping tears from her cheeks, Nikki pulled back from Sam and winced as his hand brushed the side of her head. “How badly are you hurt?” he asked quietly. He couldn’t differentiate between her dark irises and her pupils in the lighting, but he knew he needed to get her back to the jet to check her head.

“I’m just a little banged up,” she answered shakily. “It’s probably just a minor concussion.”

“I’ll be the judge of that,” he said as he removed his arms from her body and let her lean on the car. Steve cleared his throat, attempting to politely get their attention. Sam turned to him, a protest on his tongue, but instead he introduced her to the group. “Steve, Wanda, Bucky, this is Nikki, (Y/N)’s girlfriend.”

Steve gave her a small but professional smile, and Wanda’s mouth opened in surprise for only a second before she regained her composure. “It’s nice to finally meet you,” Wanda nodded, taking in the woman’s arm that was held tightly to her ribcage.

Bucky hadn’t joined the group, but at the mention of who Nikki was, his eyes dropped from her. He knew (Y/N) was dating people, he’d just hoped to never meet any of them. He didn’t look back up at her, but he asked, “How much of this blood is yours?”

She hesitated, pushing herself off the vehicle with obvious effort, “None of it. The little bit over there is from one of the guys that grabbed her.” Nikki walked to Bucky, sizing him up as she tried to read his features.

“And these?”  He pointed to the largest spots, turning to look at her.

“That’s (Y/N)’s blood,” she answered quietly.

“What?” he visibly flinched. Nikki kept her distance but caught the way his eyes twinkled in the bad lighting, shock nearly pushing tears down his face.

“They shot her, twice.”

Bucky turned on his heel, strutting toward Steve quickly.

“I’m taking Nikki back to the jet to check out her injuries,” Sam announced to the group. He moved to her, reaching out to usher her away from the scene.

As Bucky’s metal hand gripped Steve’s elbow, he snapped, “Every second we don’t spend trying to find her is another second of distance put between us, and another chance for her to bleed out.”

“I’m with him. I’m done with waiting and feeling powerless. We need to find her,” Nikki called, as she turned to look at the tense, dark-haired livewire.

“You won’t be any help to her if you have a severe head trauma,” Sam sighed, tugging Nikki toward the alley. She did her best to nod and follow him.

Steve put his best calm voice on and rested his hand on Bucky’s, feeling the sting of bruises that were already forming under his skin. “As much as I agree, we need to know more about what we’re walking into. There’s cameras, we can call Stark and it’ll take him no time to get us the security footage.”

Bucky started to respond when Sam cut him off, “Either way I’m not waiting any longer to check on Nikki’s head injury.”

“Her ribs too,” Wanda added, turning to join Sam and Nikki.

Nikki wrapped an arm around Sam’s back and he let her support herself against him. He didn’t look over his shoulder, but when Nikki did she saw Bucky and Steve speaking quietly and following the group. Bucky was angry and Steve did his best to not be. She only caught a couple of their exchanged words, but she could assume it was about (Y/N) being shot and nobody telling Bucky because they didn’t want him to lose his shit.

Sam tried to help Nikki along, supporting part of her weight with his hip. She glanced up at him, an emotion other than pain and sadness taking over her features for the first time that night. “So Bucky’s the guy (Y/N) wouldn’t talk to me about?” Sam gave her a small nod. “Well shit, I never thought I’d be dating the ex of an Avenger.”

“From what I understand, there were plenty of secrets you waited to share,” Sam answered, his eyes watching her carefully.

“I know, and I’m not judging her for it. It’s just not many people have ever met you guys, nonetheless dated one of you.” Sam gave her a small smirk and almost chuckled. She was right, they were a tight knit group that didn’t associate with many people who weren’t directly involved with their work. “Are they always like that?” she whispered, pulling Sam’s attention to the men who were still talking in hushed tones.

“It seems like it’s more often than not.” Sam could have swore he heard Wanda chuckle.

“So that joke from middle school about them being patriotic boyfriends wasn’t completely wrong?” Nikki asked, humor on her lips.

Sam couldn’t hold his laugh in this time. “I’d say it was more accurate before they both got frozen, but yeah, it’s pretty true.” Nikki smiled to herself and looked out as the field came into view. “But I thought the new theory was that Steve, Bucky, and Peggy were ‘vintage bisexuals’?” Sam added, breaking into a controlled grin. “Have anything to say about that?”

“Touche.”

* * *

My eyelids fluttered rapidly, trying to adjust to the brightness of the room. The space was eerily quiet besides for the sound of buzzing fluorescents. I gasped as I felt a sharp pain, like someone digging in my gut. Trying to look at myself forced a yelp from my dry throat.

“Hold her down,” a muffled voice ordered, and a set of hands forced my shoulders back against the table I was on. I tried to move my hands but felt restraints dig into my wrists. “Someone sedate her,” the same voice instructed.

The huge man who’d been in charge in Virginia leaned into my field of vision, and I felt a finger brushing my cheek, “We need you to stay calm. If you don’t it’s just going to hurt worse.”

I gritted my teeth, feeling a tugging like my insides were being pulled from my body. A needle sunk into my neck quickly, stinging as it both entered and left my skin.

“I don’t think this is going to knock her out, Doc.”

The giant tapped on my chin as he waved a wadded piece of gauze in front of my face, “We don’t need you hurting yourself.” I tensed my jaw even tighter, trying to hold the scream clawing at my throat in. “Come on, open up.”

I unclenched my teeth long enough for him to place the material between them. Biting down immediately, I could already feel the muscles in my body relaxing. “Good girl,” he whispered with a small smirk on his lips. Metal clinked somewhere below me and I heard a soft “oh” come from the end of the table.  

My next scream ripped past my throat, transforming the silence of the room into overwhelming agony. 


	4. Hurry Up and Wait

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tracking down the reader's abductors turns out to be a little harder than planned.

Steve got off the phone with Tony just as the security camera footage appeared on the quinjet’s back screen. Nikki had been doing her best to describe what happened while Sam tested her vision and hearing. He’d concluded that she had a moderate concussion, and that meant she didn’t have the most detailed explanation of the evening. And the team couldn’t use facial recognition software on her memories.

Bucky was leaning against the inside of the jet, trying to make himself appear relaxed, but how tightly his arms were folded over his chest said otherwise. Steve forwarded through the video until he reached the frame where Nikki and (Y/N) entered the shot. Their arms wrapped around each other as they kissed and Steve glanced over his shoulder at Bucky. He could tell Bucky was trying his best to bottle up his feelings, but he was upset. He almost started fast-forwarding again except at that moment the girls untangled their limbs and a black SUV entered the frame.

The footage seemed to move quickly, too fast to focus on any small details. The entire group stayed silent, eyes trained on (Y/N)’s attempts to thwart off the attackers. Sam found himself rooting for her to get free, even though he knew how this ended. Every time she punched or kicked someone his fingers twitched a little, the tiniest peek of pride swelling in his chest. She’d been doing pretty well on her own, but none of the men who’d gone after her were trying to seriously hurt her, just incapacitate her. Yet, Sam knew Natasha would be proud to see how long (Y/N) lasted.

Nikki averted her eyes just before two bullets flashed across the screen, and Wanda gasped. Steve couldn’t peel his eyes away from the footage, but he desperately wanted to see Bucky’s reaction to the gunshots. As (Y/N) reached down to her stomach, the largest man moved to her in barely three strides, and as her legs began to crumble he scooped her off the ground carefully. As painful as it was to watch, Steve noted that the big guy was gentle with (Y/N), as if he needed to keep her alive and safe.

As the SUV pulled away, Nikki dragged her body towards the sidewalk and Steve began to rewind the footage. Wanda pushed herself from her seat and walked off the quinjet, needing air. Steve’s eyes darted quickly to Bucky, watching his metal fist clench as he heard the quiet hum of static coming from the same arm. Steve slowed down the footage as the SUV drove up, realizing there were no license plate on the vehicle. As each of the attackers came toward the screen, he tapped on their faces, letting the program run their IDs.

Sam dug into the jet’s first aid kit and found a cold pack to give to Nikki for her fractured ribs. After helping her place the pack over her bruised skin, he heaved himself into the seat next to her. Pushing his head back, Sam closed his eyes, “So they can only be about 45 minutes away from here right now.”

“That distance grows every second,” Bucky grumbled, as he moved toward Steve.

“Well three of the four we have IDs on,” Steve said, trying to sound positive, as he pulled the files up on the three men in all black. “Richard Matthis, Jonathan Connelly, and William Sterling. All former private military contractors, so I’m guessing they were hired for this too.”

“Who’s the other guy?” Sam asked, leaning forward.

“I-, I don’t know. The program isn’t recognizing him,” Steve answered as he tilted his head.

“You’re saying a program that can identify anyone who’s ever had a picture on the internet, or been captured on a public street camera, doesn’t recognize him?” Sam pushed himself off the seat and moved toward Steve. “That doesn’t seem right.”

“I agree,” Steve nodded at Sam before looking to Bucky. “I’m gonna call Tony and see if he can figure out what’s wrong.” Steve left the plane hesitantly, glancing over his shoulder at Bucky twice before he finally turned his back. As Steve walked off, Wanda walked back on and took a seat next to Nikki, reaching a hand out to her arm to make sure she was okay.

Bucky zoned in on the screen, reaching his right hand out to read through the files on Matthis first, before moving onto Connelly. “I don’t like that she’s out there with these guys,” Bucky spoke quietly. “We have no idea where she is or where they’re taking her.”

“Do you like (Y/N) being anywhere without you?” Nikki questioned. Sam and Wanda’s eyes darted to her with a warning but she shook her head at them.

“No, but I can’t make her decisions for her. I don’t control her life,” Bucky responded, his back staying tense and turned to Nikki.

“None of us like her being in this situation,” Sam attempted to mediate.

“You keep tabs on her, don’t you?” Nikki continued to push. Sam’s eyes went wide as he turned to face Nikki.

“They aren’t my tabs, but I do check on her every once in a while to make sure she’s still okay,” Bucky shrugged, clearly not becoming irritated like Sam anticipated.

“The drone that we catch out of the corner of our eye or window belongs to who, then?”

“That’s Sam’s,” Bucky fought the urge to glare at him as he heard Sam scoff.

“Sam?” Wanda narrowed her eyes with suspicion.

Nikki turned on him, her tone calm but curious, “So you’re the one stalking her?”

“It-, it’s not stalking,” he stammered, trying to ignore Bucky’s glances his way. “She gave me back the panic button a year ago, and I check on her whenever I don’t need Redwing on a mission. I know she’ll lie to me even if she doesn’t feel safe, because she doesn’t want me to worry about her. And that just makes me worry more. If she’d still had that damn button, none of this might have happened tonight.”

“It would have still happened,” Nikki sighed as she carefully leaned back and continued to hold the ice pack to her side. Wanda gave her another concerned look that Nikki just waved off.

Sam shook his head, wishing he could cut Bucky out of this conversation but he continued, “You’re right, it would have still happened but we might have gotten to her even sooner.”

“Wasting time on what could have helped isn’t going to find her right now, so can we focus on what we have,” Bucky said quietly, as if he was trying to control his anger.

“Guys,” Wanda spoke cautiously.

“Wait, you’ve been using Redwing to check on her?” Sam spun on Bucky. “You never even listen to me when I talk about Redwing.”

“You talk about that damn thing like it’s your actual child,” Bucky rolled his eyes before he moved to the file on Sterling, “and just because I’m not paying attention to you doesn’t mean I’m not listening.”

“So you hacked into it?” Sam asked, still clearly confused with a wrinkle forming between his eyebrows.

“No, nothing like that. You just let it surveil her area some nights, and I’ve spent a few of those watching it do so.”

“This still sounds creepy,” Nikki muttered as she watched Steve pace outside of the jet. He wasn’t getting through to Tony, and his anxiety was breaking through for the first time that night.

“We’re the Avengers, if creepy means she’s safe then I’ll take that trade,” Sam shot back to Nikki before turning back to Bucky. “So you’re telling me you’ve only used it to watch her neighborhood?” Bucky hesitated before giving a small nod. “You could have just told me you wanted to check on her too.”

Bucky looked away from the files and found that Sam’s eyes had softened toward him. “I thought you knew already. And the only time I bothered to get closer than the neighborhood was over a year ago,” Bucky shrugged. “I saw somethings with the infrared camera that I didn’t want to see, so I never got close again.”

“Oh, that was Grant,” Nikki whispered, a small yet knowing smirk pulling up on her lips. “That must have really sucked for you.” Bucky’s shoulders tensed as he went back to reading.

“That was the guy with the, ugh, niner?” Sam asked, brows raised as he glanced back at Nikki. She gave him a short nod. “Well damn, you really do have the worst luck Buck.”

“Sam,” Wanda warned, trying to run interference.

“I don’t want to talk about this anymore,” Bucky cut them off, his voice nearly a growl as he spoke through gritted teeth.

Steve reentered the quinjet, trying to gauge the tension between the group. “I hope I’m not interrupting anything important but I can’t get a hold of Stark. I left him a voicemail and I’m sure he’ll get back to me soon. Until then, we’ll have to stash the jet somewhere and use what we have.”

“I’ve seen him before,” Bucky said roughly.

“Who?” Steve asked, turning immediately to the screen. A grainy shot of the large man scooping up (Y/N) filled the frame.

“I don’t know his name,” Bucky responded, barely opening his lips. His jaw was set in a hard line as his metal fingers clenched into a fist. “But I met him when I was back in Russia.”

“So a remnant of Hydra is behind this,” Wanda added as she crossed her arms.

Steve shook his head and moved toward the cockpit. Just when he thought they’d finished off the few remaining factions of Hydra, there was always one more surviving underground. “We can use that, but even with this jet having an invisibility mode, we’re in a public place and our cover will get blown if we don’t stash this somewhere else.”

Nicki’s seatbelt clicked into place, “I might be able to help with that.”

* * *

My hands were restrained to the hard surface beneath me, and my shoulder kept hitting the side of something cold and solid. If I hadn’t felt the brush of my lashes against my cheek, I would have thought I was still unconscious. My eyes searched for any crack of light but found none.

I was alone and in complete darkness.

The pain in my abdomen felt dulled, but every time my body jostled and hit whatever I was next to, I gritted my teeth as the pain grew sharper. I closed my eyes and tried to focus on something besides the throbbing and the darkness. After a moment of listening, I knew I was in a moving vehicle because I could hear the humming of an engine and tires spinning over pavement. I twisted my wrist and felt the wall my body was against, and as I felt the cool grooves of metal, I realized where I was.


	5. Misery

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nikki (OC) takes the team to a family house, the reader can't seem to catch a break (violence/assault), and Steve finds himself some place unexpected.

It was a short trip from Norfolk to a little outside of Richmond, and just as Nikki had assured, there was a secluded compound in the middle of a forest for the jet to stay hidden in. As Steve piloted the plane down quickly and safely, Sam took in the area. It sat at least a half mile from a winding back road, and the main house appeared large even from several hundred feet above.

Steve landed the quinjet next to the red barn that sat behind the house, as he had been instructed to. “Is this okay?” he called back to Nikki, who was already unbuckling from her seat.

“It’s great,” she answered, keeping her back to him as she waited for the door to lower. Sam and Wanda were the next to unbuckle, and they stayed close to Nikki as she briskly walked to the back door of the house. As she worked to unlock the door, and Steve checked on Bucky, whose body was still painfully rigid.

“You doing okay, Buck?” Steve asked quietly, placing a gentle hand on Bucky’s shoulder. The glance his friend gave him was harsher than Steve anticipated, and he removed his fingers quickly.

“You know I’m not. And you don’t need to treat me like I’ll snap if someone says the wrong thing,” Bucky warned as he waited behind the group. He knew Steve was worried, but Bucky didn’t have time for his own feelings now. He only cared about what was happening to (Y/N). He glanced around the backside of the house as he added, “I’m boiling inside, but I killed people professionally for more of my life than not. I know how to control my feelings, Steve.”

Although his gaze remained hardened, Steve knew the slight glimpse into Bucky’s internal turmoil was his way of letting him in. And even with the tiny emotional reveal from him, Steve wanted more. As the back door swung open, Steve let out a deep breath and realized that as worried as he was about (Y/N), he was as much, if not more concerned about Bucky’s mental state and how this would affect him moving forward.

Nikki flicked on the inside lights and ushered the group into a large kitchen. Light wood cabinets lined the walls, while dark marble countertops and stainless steel appliances brought a slight modernity to the place. The space looked like a mix between an old-fashioned country kitchen, and the cookware, tools, and machines of tomorrow.

Next to the kitchen sat a spacious dining room with a long table and twelve chairs. A dark wood door was visible from the hallway that was just past the formal eating space. “That’s a bathroom if anyone needs to use it,” Nikki pointed out as she flicked on another set of lights. “There’s water in the fridge, and granola bars or other snacks in the cabinet directly next to it.” She kept her eyes averted from the group, as if she wanted to focus on only what needed to happen next.

“Thank you for letting us use this place,” Wanda smiled at her graciously, stepping into the polite role that none of the boys seemed to bother with.

Nikki’s eyes shot to Wanda, and for only a second she allowed her shoulders to sag as her gaze softened, “If you’re gonna help me find my girlfriend, my things are yours.” Sam’s eyes darted to Bucky, watching as his jaw tensed. Nikki straightened as she moved past the kitchen, “I’ll be down in 10 minutes, I just need to change and get cleaned up.”

Wanda smiled and nodded at her while Bucky’s fingers twitched. If they were going to find (Y/N) they needed more intel from Tony, but that didn’t stop Bucky from feeling restless. He needed to be doing something, anything to help find her.  

Sam followed Nikki past the kitchen and up the stairs, finding 5 doors on the second floor. Nikki glanced over her shoulder at him as she reached for a knob, “What do you need Sam?”

“This was her house, wasn’t it?” he asked quietly.

Nikki let out a sigh as she twisted the door open, “It’s a family house.” Sam moved to follow her into the bedroom but she positioned herself in the door frame to block him. “We all gather here at the holidays and disconnect from the outside world for a month or so. Don’t make it a big deal.”

Sam raised his hands, backing off the subject. He glanced between the doors, wondering what memories lived behind the walls. “Which one is a bathroom?” Nikki pointed to the door at the end of the hall and Sam nodded his thanks to her.

Entering the baby blue and white bathroom was the first time and place he could privately process what had happened. One of his best friends, who was only really second to Steve, was shot, kidnapped, and likely being tortured as he did nothing. He felt helpless, and he noticed how his fingers shook slightly as he washed them. He’d survived war, he’d seen people get injured or killed so many times he shouldn’t have been this affected, but this wasn’t a war zone. This wasn’t an Avengers mission. This was the one person he tried to keep separate from all those things, and yet she still was at risk because of him.

And it ate at his conscience. He felt responsible for this, as if it was his fault that he couldn’t keep her safe. As he splashed his face with cold water, he told himself this wasn’t on him. This horrible event couldn’t be pinpointed to an exact person or instance. (Y/N) knew nearly every Avenger, and with good surveillance she could probably be linked back to any of them. And as hard as Sam was being on himself, he knew the whole team felt the same way. Hell, he knew Bucky was taking that guilt and magnifying 10 times, all to motivate himself to find her before he fell apart.

Sam dried his hands and left the bathroom to approach Nikki’s room. He lifted his hand to knock but left it hanging in the air. Her smothered sobs echoed from the other side of the door.

It seemed no one was safe from the worry and guilt this time.

* * *

“Wakey, wakey.”

I tried to pull away from a large hand as it squeezed on my forearm. My eyes had a hard time adjusting to the white light of the room I was now sitting in.

“Come on princess. We have questions to ask.”

I pulled my head down and focused on my wrists. A metal cuff kept both of them restrained and I tried to shake the hand off of me, but I couldn’t move enough to rid myself of it. I squinted to find that the hand belonged to the guy I’d elbowed in the head during the fight outside the movie theater. He was in different clothing now, a pair of dark wash jeans and a muted, military green t-shirt.

“Ah, there she is,” he smirked, finally removing his fingers from me. “We need some answers about the Avengers.”

I kept my jaw locked tight as I stared into his green eyes, willing my face to remain neutral. I didn’t know how these men found me, or if they actually needed me for information, but I knew they needed me alive. And as I tugged against the metal restraints, I realized I was going to be a bargaining chip.

“What do you know about Steve Rogers?” another voice asked. My eyes darted to find the man whose knee I’d injured, sitting in a chair with his newly braced leg, propped up. His dark eyes stared at me blankly, and when he got no answer he reached forward to set a camera on a tripod. I kept my face as expressionless as possible. “Do you know Captain America?”

I gulped but remained quiet.

“What about Tony Stark? Know where he is at the moment?” the green eyed man asked. I turned back to him but gave him the same lack of response. “Can you not talk now?” When the silence stretched on, he tsked and moved the camera closer to me.

I tried not to stare wide eyed at the lens, but it was the first time I’d been able to see myself since before the abduction. My hair stood up in odd places, and my eyeliner and mascara had smeared around my eyes.

“The boss man wants us to film your questioning,” the green eyed man continued as he pulled a metal chair in front me, and sat on it backwards. “He thinks it might be useful.”

“Yeah, but he didn’t think we’d get answers. And it seems like we aren’t going to,” the dark eyed man said from his seat, his gaze and tone nonchalant as he pulled out his cell phone.

Footsteps approached my chair from behind and I wished I could twist myself out of it. “You know there are other ways of making her talk?” another voice asked. A hand snatched at my hair and yanked my head back until it hit the metal head rest. A tiny whine left my lips, and I tried to kick my legs out but they were restrained as well. My eyes focused on the man who’d shot me, and anger and fear boiled up from my gut to my throat. His other hand gripped at my jaw, anchoring my face back for him to see. I felt tears burning behind my eyes, but I locked my jaw and tried to contain my panic.

“You know we need her alive, Matthis,” the green eyed man reminded.

“Alive is not the same thing as uninjured,” he smirked as he removed his hand from my hair, but used his other hand to keep my head pushed back. A finger trailed down my cheek gently and his blue eyes hovered directly over me. “Are you gonna answer our questions the easy way or the hard way?” I tried to remain emotionless, but a sinking feeling told me this wouldn’t end well. My fingers shook and I wrapped them around the metal arm rests to steel myself for what was to come.

“Huh?” he asked as he squeezed my jaw in his fingers.

Instead of answering him, I spit in his face.

“Bitch!” he yelped as he pulled back from me in revulsion. I tried not to appear prideful, but it felt like a small victory to get his fingers off me. The dark eyed man glanced over at me momentarily before shrugging at Matthis.

The back of Matthis’s hand smacked my face, whipping my head to the side and leaving a searing pain across of my cheek. “Oh, you just fucked up big time darling.”

I closed my eyes before the next hit connected with my jaw.

* * *

Steve dropped his water bottle onto the countertop as he pulled his phone from his pocket. Tony’s name flashed across the screen and he moved quickly into the unlit room that sat on the other side of the kitchen. It contained oversized leather furniture, built in bookshelves, a flat screen tv, and several blankets. He concluded that it must have been the living room.

“Hello?” Steve asked, retreating to the darkest side of the room.

“Steve!” Tony answered immediately, his tone urgent. “I didn’t get an ID on the last guy, but I think it’s because my system has been tampered with somehow.”

“You’re saying someone hacked Stark Industries?” Steve asked as he began pacing back and forth. It wasn’t well lit but he studied several of the pictures of Nikki on the wall.

“No one says hacked anymore, Steve,” Tony sassed, and if this had been a less stressful situation, Steve might have even cracked a smile. “But yes, they either hacked the facial recognition software or the government’s files. Maybe even both. FRIDAY found several holes in the coding that did not exist when I created the system, and we’re working on figuring out what got erased.”

“Okay, do you have anything else for me?” Steve continued, hearing the squeak of floorboards shifting behind him. He glanced over his shoulder to see Bucky’s dark form standing in the doorway, watching him pace.

“Yes, we got traffic camera footage of the SUV driving south from Norfolk. I’ll send you the path it was traveling in based on the footage,” Tony said and Steve could hear beeping noises coming from his end of the call. “I’ll keep you updated if we find out anything else, and let me know if you get anymore leads that I can try to track down.”

“We will Tony.” The line disconnected before Steve could say anything else and as he pulled his phone from his ear he saw the GPS app pop up with the trail the vehicle had left on the street cameras.

“Anything useful?” Bucky asked lowly.

Steve approached his unlit form and held up his phone. He stared at it for only a moment before nodding and turning on his heel. Steve almost followed him but something else caught his eye. A photo of a woman with dark hair and dark eyes, a toddler resting on her hip. An easy smile pulled across her lips.

Nikki and Sam descended the staircase, the boards creaking with every new step, but Steve couldn’t pull his attention from the picture. Sam continued onto the kitchen where Wanda told him they had a lead. Keys jingled from behind Steve somewhere and Bucky called from the back door for him, but he didn’t respond.

“Steve?” Nikki attempted to pull him out of his daze as she waved a hand in front of Steve’s face. He blinked several times, trying to orient himself, before he turned to her. She held a set of keys out to him, “They’re for the SUV in the barn.”

Steve still couldn’t concentrate on her words, he was too busy trying to figure out what the hell was going on. He glanced around the room at the other pictures, noticing the same woman over and over again at varying ages. Red lipstick adorning her grin in almost every image.

“Why are there pictures of Peggy Carter here?”


	6. Here for Nothing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve has a revelation, some graphic violence, Bucky is very very angry, kinda a horror movie ending (my beta made me scale it down).

Steve’s eyes zeroed in on Nikki immediately, and she stood her ground as she crossed her arms. Sam and Wanda were still talking in the kitchen when she let out a deep sigh.

“This was her house,” Nikki began, speaking in a softer tone.

“Why do you have access to her house?” Steve snapped, his fingers twitching at his sides.

Nikki rolled her eyes at his obliviousness, “Because I’m her granddaughter, Steve.”

“What?” he asked, disbelief furrowing his brows. “With-, with who?”

Nikki unfurled her arms as she sat on the armrest of the chair behind her. “With someone from a long time ago,” she shrugged to Steve before motioning for him to sit down.

“She-, the last time I saw her she talked to me about getting married and having a couple kids,” Steve managed as he sat on the edge of the chair.

“Well, she actually had three kids. And my father came about a little earlier in her life than my aunt and uncle did.” Nikki crossed her legs and reached a hesitant hand out to Steve. “But she never stopped loving you. Never,” she whispered, placing a supportive hand on his shoulder.

He turned to her, staring at her hand for a moment before looking up at Nikki’s face. “Who’s your grandfather then?”

The scuffle of shoes entering the living room didn’t distract Steve, but Nikki glanced over at Sam in the doorway and shook her head for him to give them some privacy. “Um, Gabe Jones actually.”

“Howling Commandos, Private Gabe Jones?” Steve asked, his voice going up an octave in surprise.

Nikki nodded, “Yes, that Gabe Jones. After you went in the ice, Peggy worked for the SSR for few years, and then was a founder and director of SHIELD, which I’m guessing you already know.” She gave Steve’s shoulder one last squeeze before removing her fingers. “While on a mission her and Gabe reconnected, and they had a relationship for a while. Both families were surprised they didn’t get married, and although she never spoke about it, I think they both planned to. But political and career stuff got in the way.”

“Peggy’s never really let  _anything_  get in her way,” Steve responded, leaning back into the seat more.

“You’re not wrong, but it was illegal for an interracial couple to get married in a lot of states until the late 1960s.” Steve shook his head in surprise, but he knew that was another change he missed out on while he was frozen. “And although that probably wouldn’t have stopped them, they were captured and tortured while grandma Peggy was pregnant and thought they might have lost my dad. Considering they both had dangerous and busy careers at the time, neither wanted to place a child in the middle of all that. Gabe asked his sister to look after my dad, and no one really knew about him until years later.”

“I don’t believe that Peggy would just give up her own child like that,” Steve said, causing Nikki to roll her eyes again.

“She didn’t. She visited him as much as possible, which sometimes was every other day, and other times was once a month or so when she was going on missions. He knew who his parents were, and Gabe was around a lot at the beginning of his life, but he died in my dad’s teens. And as Peggy got older, she swore to spend as much time with me as she did her younger children, which is why there are so many pictures of me here.”

Steve glanced around the room, processing all the images with this new information. “So how come-,” he began but was interrupted by the sound of the back door opening.

“Guys, come on! Get the keys, we need to move,” Bucky yelled, forcing Nikki’s attention on him. Sam and Wanda nodded at Bucky and their footsteps led out of the house.

“But why didn-,” Steve tried again but was cut off by Bucky stomping into the room.

“Steve, there’s no time to mope about your feelings right now. We need to go!” Bucky spoke loudly, prompting Nikki to push herself off the armrest.

Steve rose from his seat, his frame and face becoming harder, “You’ve literally done nothing but be broody and emotional for the last 2 years, it’s time for someone else to have a chance.”

Bucky’s lips fell open, both in shock and anger, and Nikki glanced at Steve with a proud smirk. Bucky gulped and pushed on, “Sorry, but we need to follow the lead before it gets too cold.”

Steve brushed past Bucky, barely murmuring, “But isn’t old and icy our specialty?”

* * *

Steve was an hour south of Richmond when he got the call. The girls had taken the backseat while Bucky called shotgun, and Sam stayed in the middle. Steve answered his phone on the third ring as he shifted lanes on the road. The SUV was quiet beside the girls’ quiet chatter.

“There’s a calmness and confidence to you that’s-, that would be really good for her,” Wanda said to Nikki, shifting her shoulder to face the woman.

“Um, thanks,” Nikki responded, both flattered but also confused by Wanda’s words.

Wanda shook her head and gave Nikki an apologetic smile, “Sorry, I try not to peek in anyone’s mind. It’s just nice that as stressed and as worried as you are, you’re also somehow the calmest person in this vehicle.”

“I’m doing my best to control it, I really am,” Nikki whispered, showing Wanda the grooves in her palms where her nails were digging into her skin. “That’s the only way I’m going to get through this.”

“It’s not just this situation though, I know how sad and anxious (Y/N) was the last time I saw her. She needs the stability you have.” Wanda did her best to stay quiet enough so that Bucky couldn’t hear her, but she meant every word she said. Bucky’s callousness was masking his utter panic, Steve’s facade of control and leadership was masking his worry and fear, and Sam’s quietness was his only way of keeping his guilt from coming out.

Both women perked up when they heard Steve answer the call. “Tony?” he asked, placing it on speaker and in the cup holder to free up his hands.

“Steve, I have a new lead to send you,” Tony started before he heard the echo of his voice. “Am I speaker?”

“Is that a problem?” Bucky asked gruffly, staring at the phone.

“Uh, it’s fine,” Tony paused as the team heard a beeping noise coming from his end of the line. “I’m gonna send you the coordinates. It’s not far from the North Carolina border.”

“We’re only about 20 minutes out then,” Steve responded.

“Good. And uh, you should hurry but you need to be careful.”

“Why?” Sam asked, leaning in between the front seats.

“It’s um, it-, it might,” Tony stammered.

“What, Tony?” Steve urged.

“It may be a trap,” Tony’s voice was quiet as he spoke, his usual humor and casual tone gone.

“What aren’t you telling us?” Sam asked, nearly reaching for the phone.

“It’s where the SUV is,” Tony continued, trying his best to mask his concern.

“And?” Steve continued to push.

“And, and it’s how I got the location that I’m worried about.” Tony hesitated before taking a deep breath, “The SUV dropped off state cameras 10 minutes from the border and I couldn’t find it anywhere. But someone sent me an uh, message, and through that I was able to pinpoint a more specific area, and then find the SUV from satellite imaging.”

“Okay.” Steve’s tone was meant to sound definitive, but a question still sat on his tongue.

“What was the message? Who sent it?” Bucky snapped, ignoring any attempt at being civil.

“I don’t know who sent it, and it wasn’t really that important,” Tony said defensively.

Steve let a breath out as he warned, “Tony.”

“You guys need to be in the right headspace,” he continued.

“Tony,” Sam groaned.

“Just focus on finding her!”

“We’re trying to, stop being cryptic. What was the message?” Bucky nearly picked up the phone and shouted into it.

Tony finally gave in with a sigh, “It-, it was a video,”

“Of what?” Wanda asked, her voice sounding much calmer than any of the boys’.

“Of-, of them interrogating her,” the regret breaking through Tony’s voice.

Bucky’s metal hand clench into a fist so hard, the electricity running through his arm sparked, “You mean of them torturing her.”

Tony tried his best to reason with the group, “It, it wasn’t a pleasant video. But they made it so it would screw with your heads.”

“Send it with the coordinates,” Steve spoke with an authoritative tone.

“No way,” Tony shot back. “Don’t make me fight you on this, Steve.”

At those words, Steve swerved to the side of the road and grabbed the phone, taking it off speaker phone. “If we can see it, we can get a better idea of what we’re walking into. I know it’s just a video meant to cause a reaction, but let’s make their display of confidence our advantage.”

The rest of the group stared at Steve attentively, watching as he’d roll his eyes or shake his head.

“If Barnes sees this, there’s no way he’s going in there without killing those men,” Tony knew this was a losing fight, but he tried to remain the rational one. “And if they’re working for someone who knows how to get in my systems, this person can do a lot more damage. We need those guys to talk.”

“Send the video, I’ll make sure we get them alive.” Steve knew this was a stupid thing for him to ask for, but he tried to reassure Tony, “We’re already worked up enough to tear this place down, this won’t change that.”

“I wouldn’t be too sure,” Tony muttered before hanging up.

Steve’s phone beeped twice as the coordinates and the video message came on his screen. He opened the video first, orienting it so Bucky and Sam could see it.

(Y/N) appeared on screen, blood dripping out of her nose and mouth as she panted for air. Both of her cheeks were red and swollen as tears trailed down her mascara stained cheeks. Her hands and legs were restrained, but the fire burning in her eyes said that she was fighting these men as much as she could.

“So you said Steve Rogers is Captain America, Tony Stark is Iron Man, and Natasha Romanoff is Black Widow, but that’s all public knowledge,” a voice spoke from the other side of the camera, sounding slightly amused. “You said you didn’t know anything about a Wanda Maximoff, and that Sam Wilson was just a friend of a friend you’d met a few years back. You’ve only hung out twice, and that’s why you had his phone number.”

“Correct,” she somehow managed, her voice cracking. The dark haired man who shot (Y/N) moved around her chair, stalking her like his immobilized prey.

“But you knew he was an Avenger because you told your girlfriend to call him, right?” the voice from behind the camera continued.

“I’m not buying any of this,” the dark haired, blue eyed man spoke, a smile pulling on his lips.

“That’s Matthis,” Sam commented, pointing at the screen. The humming from Bucky’s arm nearly overtook the audio.

Matthis wrapped a hand around (Y/N) throat, choking the breath from her as he brought his face to hers, “Why don’t you start telling us the truth, before I start having even more fun with you.”

“What do you know about a Bucky Barnes?” the voice from behind the camera asked.

(Y/N) opened her mouth to answer, but couldn’t manage to speak with Matthis’ hand still around her throat.

“Let her go,” a monotone voice from off screen instructed.

Matthis removed his hand as (Y/N) gasped for air. The man behind the camera gave her a moment to catch her breath before asking again, “What do you know about Bucky Barnes?”

“Was-, wasn’t he Steve Rogers’ childhood friend or something?” she asked, attempting to appear confused. “I read about him growing up but didn’t he die in the war?” A sharp slap met her cheek, and she let out a soft whimper before glaring at her torturer, “I don’t know anything else.”

“She’s lying,” Matthis commented as he moved out of frame quickly. The sound of metal dragging against metal rang through the room. “Time to make this a little more interesting,” he announced as he stepped back into frame. “Every time you lie to me, I break one of your fingers.” He held a hammer up to the camera and then to (Y/N)’s face.

“Matthis,” the voice from behind the camera warned.

“What? It’s just a little fun,” he shrugged. “Broken fingers aren’t the end of the world.” (Y/N) struggled in her seat and clenched her hands as he trailed the side of the hammer down her cheek. “So let’s try that again, what do you know about Barnes?”

“He was the Winter Soldier after the war,” she managed as Matthis hooked his fingers under her jaw.

“Ahh, that’s something,” he smirked.

“I had a friend who worked for SHIELD at the time, that’s how I heard about him working for HYDRA before the UN bombing,” she tried to explain, but still gave away no details these men could work with.

“And?” Matthis prompted.

“And what? He was in Bucharest when they found him.”

“And you were in Bucharest at the same time, huh?” Matthis traced the blunt edge of the hammer over her knuckles.

“I don’t know him,” she tried to shake her head from his grip.

“Wrong answer,” he taunted as he took his hand from her jaw and pried open her fist. “I warned you.”

The hammer flashed quickly through the air before a strangled scream escaped her lips.

Steve stopped the video just as Bucky punched the dashboard of the car with his human hand. “Goddammit,” he shouted as he covered his face with his metal hand. His human fingers rested flat against the dashboard, but were trembling.

“Drive,” Sam said to Steve as he pushed back into his seat.

“What?” Steve asked as he glanced over his shoulder.

“Just drive.”

* * *

The team made it to the small, abandoned clinic just before 3am. Bucky shoved the car door open, running toward the entrance as quickly as he could. Sam was behind him, but moved more cautiously, surveilling the area. Steve checked out the black SUV as Wanda and Nikki took up the rear. Wanda closed her eyes and tried to detect anyone in the area, but couldn’t feel anyone’s presence but their teams.

“We’re too late,” Wanda said to Steve, as Bucky yanked open the front door of the clinic.

A round of bullets came from inside the building, and Bucky lifted his arm to block one before Sam tackled him to the ground. The team stayed low and out of sight until the gun ran out of ammo. Bucky was the first to move, disarming the trap before shoving past the entrance.

Sam glanced at Steve, concern furrowing his brows. They both followed Bucky’s path. The sound of metal clanging to the ground and a loud groan sent them to a small, white walled room with a metal operating table in the middle of it. Bucky had knocked over the instruments that were on a small rolling cart.

A simple white note sat on the table, and as Steve got closer he saw several dried blood stains on the table and floor. After inspecting the area he lifted up the note addressed  _Dear Avengers_. Steve flipped it open to find a four word message stained with blood:  _You’re too late, again_.


	7. Nerve

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky is still very angry, Steve tries to be a soothing force, Bucky and Nikki have no chill (and the reader obviously has a type).

Bucky punched the wall with his metal hand, his fist clearing the drywall and breaking into the next room. He yanked his arm back quickly, rotating his shoulder before tossing the shiny metal table next to him across the room.

“Bucky-,” Steve began, his voice calm as he approached him.

“Dammit Steve. Do not start with me,” he shot back, turning quickly to Steve.

“You need to calm down, Barnes,” Wanda warned, her right hand already raised in preparation.

Bucky scoffed, glaring at Wanda, “I’m pissed Wanda, I’m not gonna punch Steve.”

“Well it wouldn’t be the first time you lashed out at us because you were upset,” Wanda snapped back, the space above her fingers glowing red.

Bucky pushed past Steve with a huff and left the building quickly, not bothering to glance over his shoulder at any of the team. Wanda lowered her hand slowly, making eye contact with Steve before giving him a small nod.

Sam turned to Nikki to find she had her phone in her hands. She was typing furiously and just as Sam was about to open his mouth, she cut him off, “This used to be a medical clinic, it closed 2 years ago.”

“That makes sense,” Steve commented as he walked the room, hoping to find something out of place.

Wanda stood at the end of the table, her hands outstretched and her eyes closed, “I can feel her energy, her pain. They operated right here.”

“What?” Sam whispered approaching the table, as he stared at the dried blood on the floor. “Oh god.”

“They made sure not to leave any clues to where they were going,” Steve added as he opened a set of cabinets to find them completely empty.

Nikki tucked her phone in her pocket and took off for the back exit. After a moment of squeaking metal echoing around the clinic, she found something. “Guys… guys!” she called as she banged against the side of the dumpster. Sam and Steve moved to find her quickly. “They had a doctor or a nurse here,” she called, peeking over the edge of the dumpster to wave two empty blood and saline bags. “There’s a lot of newer medical supplies in here, and there wasn’t any of this in the building.”

“Is there anything that could identify the doctor?” Sam called from outside the dumpster.

“No, but there’s a location on the blood bag,” Nikki answered as she pulled herself out of the dumpster. Wanda reached a hand out to steady Nikki as she got back to the ground. “Halifax Medical Hospital.”

* * *

It took the team almost another hour to make it to Halifax, North Carolina, and on the way there Nikki found out what doctor had worked both at the clinic and at the hospital: Dr. Martin Jones. Steve parked outside the man’s last known address, and turned off the car’s engine. “We’re gonna make this as fast and easy as possible,” he told the team before he reached for his door handle. As he began to get out of the car, Bucky and Sam both pushed open their doors.

A red haze slammed both doors shut as Wanda glanced over her shoulder, “Fast and easy does not require everyone.” She left Bucky, Sam, and Nikki locked in the vehicle as her and Steve walked to the front door. A woman with wet hair answered the door after Steve knocked twice, and his eyes darted to Wanda quickly as the woman greeted them. He hated having Wanda mess with anyone’s head, but this was the path of least resistance and the only way they could keep the doctor from warning the men who’d abducted (Y/N). Wanda gave the woman a gracious smile and raised her hand. Red tendrils floated toward the woman’s face and she opened to the door to let them into the house.

“This is ridiculous,” Bucky huffed. His hands were knotted together tightly as he hunched forward in his seat.

Sam kicked a leg up in the seat next to him and rolled his head back, “Honestly, I agree with Wanda. You and I are the most likely to do something we could regret, right now.”

“I won’t regret anything I have to do to find (Y/N),” Bucky grumbled.

“Finally, something we can agree on,” Nikki mumbled as she stared at the front door.

“Hey, hey, hey,” Sam sat up in his seat. “You two don’t need to get any ideas here. We’re trying to do this as by the book as possible.”

“Grandma Peggy always told me, sometimes the whole damn book needs to be thrown out,” Nikki said before yawning. She could feel the fatigue taking over her limbs, but she didn’t want to sleep. She’d been awake for nearly 24 hours, and just one day before she was curled up with (Y/N) in their bed, dreading going to work.

“Wait, so that’s what Steve was moping about? You’re Peggy Carter’s granddaughter?” Bucky asked, twisting around to look at her.

Nikki extended her legs out on the backseat and tilted her head at Bucky, eyeballing his reaction with indifference, “Yeah.”

“I see the resemblance,” Bucky muttered before turning back to the road.

“How?” Sam asked before a yawn escaped his lips.

Bucky shrugged and made eye contact with Sam by the rearview mirror, “Peggy was never fond of me. Plus it seems all the people I love move on with a Carter anyway.”

“This pity party is really just reinforcing why Peggy didn’t like you,” Nikki said, her eyes already closed as sleep tried to take over her.

The front door of the house opened and Sam watched as Steve and Wanda walked back to the car. Wanda’s lips were turned up in a small smile, while Steve kept a blank expression. As they got back in the vehicle, Sam relaxed back into his seat, “So, did we get any more intel?”

“A little,” Steve nodded, remaining tight lipped.

“And?” Bucky asked, his glare boring into Steve.

“And it’s pretty vague. They left in a semi with a shipping container on the back. The doctor didn’t see the license plate, so we can’t use that. He said they were headed South, and he figured they were heading to Raleigh or Fayetteville. Somewhere populated, with suburbs and places to hide.”

“Does that sound like military contractors though?” Sam asked as he buckled up.

“My thought exactly,” Steve nodded.

“They’ll be heading somewhere more isolated, where they can control their environment, surveil and see us coming,” Bucky commented, watching Steve with narrowed eyes.

“So then what are we doing next?” Nikki asked from the back, her eyes still closed.

“We’re heading South, getting a hotel room and getting some of rest,” Steve answered, but heard Bucky begin to speak. Cutting him off with a raised finger, “We will give Tony and FRIDAY time to pinpoint a more exact location.”

“Steve-,” Bucky started.

“No. Half of this team has been awake for nearly a full day. We need a couple hours of sleep to make sure our heads are on straight. We can’t go into this tired and disoriented.”

“Steve,” Bucky tried again, his voice quieting to nearly a whine.

“Until we hear from Tony, we’ll just be driving around North Carolina with no destination,” Steve shook his head, making his decision final. “And if you can’t sleep, then you can stay watch while we do.”

* * *

The team found a cheap motel to duck into around 6 am. Sam had to wake Nikki from the backseat and Steve was fighting off yawns from behind the wheel, but they managed to get a room with two queen size beds, a couch, and an armchair. Sam called one of the beds, while Wanda and Nikki took the other. Steve laid back on the couch while Bucky turned the chair to the window to keep watch.

Bucky’s knee bounced from the moment he sat down, his power shaking the floor, and his nerves didn’t allow him to stay seated long. Sam was already echoing small snores when Bucky began pacing the room. Nikki’s back was turned to him, and based on the rise and fall of her side, he knew she was asleep too. Steve’s eyes were closed and his fingers only twitched every few minutes, but Bucky knew Steve was awake from his irregular breathing. And he was pretty sure he caught Steve’s eyes watching him a couple times.

Wanda laid on her back, but her eyes were wide open. She wanted to sleep but Bucky’s worry tainted the energy in the room, making it nearly impossible to. “Can you please calm down?” Wanda asked from the bed, forcing Bucky to pause only for a second.

He kept his back to her as he spoke, “You all seem to be able to ignore what’s happened. (Y/N)’s out there, getting tortured or murdered, and we’re sitting here doing nothing!”

Bucky began to turn around to face Wanda, but he jumped as he realized she was standing behind him. Her fingers twitched and Bucky froze, “We’re not doing nothing, we’re just giving Tony time to figure out what’s going on.” Bucky began to speak but Wanda shook her head, “She’s not dead, and that video was made to provoke you. Now I’m going to plant your ass in that seat, and while I won’t take away your concern, I am going to stop you from keeping us all awake.”

Another flick of her wrist and Bucky was back in his seat, his body relaxing as he stared out the window.

* * *

Nearly 2 hours later, a quiet ring came from behind Bucky. He tried to move from his seat but didn’t succeed, Wanda’s grip on his nervous system still in control. The phone continued to ring, but Sam’s snoring drowned it out, making it only a quiet chirp. Bucky took in a deep breath, closing his eyes, and then tried again. This time his feet inched away from the seat. He moved slowly, trying to keep his heart rate down and his mind calm.

The phone rang twice more before Bucky finally reached Steve’s jacket. He fished it out of his pocket to find Tony’s name on the screen. “Hello?” he answered calmly, trying to mask his usual gruff tone.

“Yeah Steve, I got a location that I want you guys to check out,” Tony began, his voice sounding nearly excited. When Tony hesitated, Bucky made a small “uh huh”, which was just enough to encourage Tony to continue. “I used a satellite to track the SUV and then the semi, which isn’t exactly legal, but I think I know where they’re keeping her.”

“And?” Bucky managed, attempting to keep his voice masked.

“And I’ll send you the coordinates,” Tony added as an additional beep came across Steve’s phone. “As before, use caution, I don’t know what you’re walking into.”

“Thanks Stark,” Bucky said, his gruff tone sneaking into his voice.

“Wait-, Bucky? Buc-” Tony started, realizing who he’d just been speaking to, but Bucky hung up on him. He kept his breathing slow as he silenced the phone and moved to the bathroom with more haste. He took only a moment to compose himself for his escape, and as he slipped from the bathroom, he dug Steve’s keys from his jacket.

Bucky moved to the front door slowly, not bothering to look behind him, and he closed it as quietly as possible. He needed a head start on the rest of the team, and he needed to do this alone.

As he reached the car, he felt Wanda’s control fade out. His heartbeat quickened as he sat behind the wheel, checking Steve’s phone for the coordinates. Bucky peeled out of the motel and onto the highway, praying that Tony wouldn’t get through to Sam or Wanda’s phones until he’d made it farther out.

After 30 minutes on the road, Bucky checked the GPS again. Three messages from Sam lit up the phone, but he ignored them. He had another hour before he’d reach the spot. He’d made it out of the city safely, and he moved into the right lane, putting the car on cruise control.

“(Y/N), I’m gonna find you,” he exhaled, reassuring himself. He flexed his fingers, releasing his white knuckled grip on the steering wheel.

“Yeah,” a voice came from behind him. He flipped to the backseat to find Nikki sitting up. “And you’re not doing it alone.”


	8. United

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The reader is doing her best to be okay. Nikki and Bucky talk about their feelings.

A hand shook my arm, waking me up. I rolled onto my back at first, keeping my eyes squeezed shut as I stretched my legs and arms. “It’s about time you woke up, princess,” a voice chuckled from somewhere near me. I froze in my place and opened my eyes immediately.

The room wasn’t bright anymore, but it was still plain. Cement walls with a large metal restraint chair, a plain metal table and chair, and apparently the small padded cot I was on.

“You’ve been out for nearly 8 hours,” the green eyed man spoke, kneeling next to me. I glanced down at my wrists and feet to find they weren’t restrained, and when I didn’t look up, he continued, “The big guy told us to unlock you. He figured you’d been through more than enough last night, and when Matthis got a little excitable on top of that, well, you deserved some rest.”

I pushed myself up by my elbows, wincing as a sharp pain shot through my side. As my head tilted forward, the swelling in my face stung.

“You need to be careful, don’t need you ripping your stitches,” he said as he reached for my back, helping me sit forward. Recoiling from his touch, I moved my back to the wall behind me. “You’re gonna need to drink some water. We had you hooked up to fluids last night, but it’s been a while.”

Staring down at my hands, I realized why I couldn’t move my right hand well. Two of my fingers were in braces and taped to my middle finger. I lifted them closer to my face as the green eyed man walked over to the table and picked up a water bottle.

“Look, I’m sorry about that. Matthis gets carried away easily, and very little irritates Connelly,” the man explained as he came back towards me. I folded my legs into my chest, ignoring the pain in my side. The man unscrewed the cap and held the bottle out to me. “But I’m not as excitable or as apathetic as they are.” I stared at the bottle blankly, refusing to respond. “You can call me Sterling, and I’m the best chance you have of getting out of here without getting hurt worse.”

My eyes stayed focused on the bottle, and I reached for it with my left hand.

“Good, good,” he nodded. “Do you want anything to eat?” I finally looked away from the bottle to meet his gaze. “I know solids won’t be the easiest for you to chew with your, uh, face.”

I pulled the bottle away from my lips and glared at him.

“Sorry, that was dumb of me,” Sterling apologized. “But I can find something that’s soft, like pudding or jello.”

“I’m fine,” I forced the words from my mouth, but they felt foreign, as if they didn’t belong to me.

“Do you want some ice for your face?” he asked as he reached for my jaw. I froze in place, clamping my teeth as he tilted my head.  “Goddamn, he really did a number on you.” Sterling’s fingers brushed the swelling on my cheek, causing me to wince. “It’s a shame, but it should heal as long as Matthis doesn’t lay another hand on you.” His fingers left my face as he leaned back, “And the big guy laid in on him real good, so I doubt he’ll make that mistake again.”

I almost wanted to see the big guy, to ask him why he cared about my well being after abducting me, but I knew that was a useless thought.

“So do you want that ice?” Sterling asked again, and I managed to nod before taking another drink of water. He left the room for only a minute before returning with ziploc of ice. He began to hold the bag against my face but I grabbed the bag with my left hand and held it myself. “I know this situation isn’t a pleasant one, but you can trust me, okay? I’ll do what I can to help you get out of here in one piece,” Sterling said as he stood in front of me, his fingers knotted together tightly.

My gaze lifted from his hands to his face to find a small smirk on his lips. I glared at him as I lifted my right hand, “You let this happen.”

“Remember I’m the one who made Matthis stop after two,” Sterling snapped, taking a step toward me. I wanted to flinch but I kept my legs pulled into my chest and I squeezed my eyes shut at his words. After a moment of silence he continued, “If you need food or more water, or the bathroom, just knock on the door and I’ll take care of it.”

His footsteps lead away from me, and I waited until the door closed to let my tears spill over.

* * *

Nikki and Bucky sat in silence for 15 minutes before Nikki broke. She didn’t necessarily want to hash things out with her girlfriend’s ex, but she was nervous about what was coming.

“Barnes…” she started, unsure how to speak to him alone. He glanced her way but didn’t say anything. “Uh-, um, what are you planning on doing when we find her?”

He hesitated, keeping his eyes on the road, but he answered quietly, “I plan on doing what I have to, to get her out safely.”

Nikki nodded to herself before she reached for her small hand bag. “I’m going to do the same,” she whispered as she unzipped her purse. She pulled out an old, black pistol.

“You think you’re going in with me?” Bucky asked, as he turned to her.

“Um yeah,” Nikki answered as she began to take apart the gun to make sure it hadn’t rusted. “You’ll need me to cover you.”

“Last time I checked, I’m the former assassin super soldier here, and you’ve never been trained by the military or a secret government agency.”

“Maybe so, but Peggy didn’t send me into the world defenseless.”

“She wouldn’t,” he said with raised brows. “But I don’t care what Peggy taught you, this is about getting (Y/N) out safely.”

Nikki’s head whipped to him, “You don’t think I know that? She’s  _my_  girlfriend Bucky. Just because you’re still in love with her doesn’t mean I’m suddenly not.”

“That’s no-, that’s not what I meant,” he shook his head.

“I don’t care what you meant-,” she cut him off. “You’ve acted like you’re the only person affected by all this, like you’re the only one who loves her, but you’re not. You don’t have the monopoly on being concerned. And even if you do show up to save her, nothing about the past 2 years is going to change.”

Bucky grew silent at her words and Nikki crossed her arms as she turned back to the road. Tires against cement and the SUV’s engine were the only sounds in the car.

“I-, I know I’ve been less than polite, but I know you’re worried too,” Bucky started. “And I won’t lie, I still love her and I would do anything to go back to a time before all this shit happened. But I don’t think she’ll come running back because I’m there.”

Nikki took in a deep breath, “I shouldn’t have said that, it was just a peek of insecurity talking.”

“I’m not angry that she’s with you,” he continued. “In fact, I’m happy she’s happy. That’s all I wanted for her.”

“And I appreciate that,” Nikki nodded as she unfolded her arms. “I’m not generally one for jealousy, but you can’t blame me for being a little alarmed when I found out my girlfriend’s ex is a freaking Avenger.”

“I-, I wasn’t when we were together,” he said quietly. “You didn’t know?”

“No, she never told me who you were, only called you her ex.” Nikki paused, considering her next words carefully. “I guess she didn’t want me to worry, but she did tell me that the timing was wrong. That she could see a life with you, but you were committed to bigger things. And she didn’t blame you for that, she wanted you to do what was right for you, but deep down she wished you’d picked her.”

“Most days I wish I’d picked her too,” Bucky murmured. “But she did what was right for her, and she’s happy now, with you.”

“She’s never stopped loving you, Barnes,” Nikki spoke as she looked away from him.

“She said that?”

“No, but she didn’t have to. The few times you’ve come up over the years has made it obvious. And that might be why I’ve not been the nicest to you either.” Bucky glanced over at her with apologetic eyes, but Nikki continued, “But I’m going in with you to find her, and you can’t stop me. We do this together, okay?”

“Okay,” Bucky nodded.

“Good, she’ll need the people who love her most now.”

Steve’s phone rang loudly from the cup holder and Bucky let it.

After the fourth ring Nikki glared at him and said, “You know they’re not gonna stop calling.”

“Fine,” Bucky grunted before picking up the phone. “Yeah?”

Nikki couldn’t hear everything Steve was saying, but she could tell he was speaking in an angry tone. Bucky let out a string of “uh huh” and “yes” before he got off the phone.

“So?” Nikki prompted after Bucky hung up.

“They’re on their way and they’re pissed,” he answered.

“I could hear that much,” she sassed.

Bucky rolled his eyes, “Steve told us to do recon when we get there. Don’t engage until they show up.”

“That doesn’t sound like something you’d do.”

Bucky smirked, “It’s not.”


	9. Run

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky and Nikki arrive where the reader is being held, reader thinks she might be able to trust a friendly face. She is wrong. *SEXUAL ASSAULT WARNING* (it's kinda mild assault though) Bucky and Nikki rush to the rescue.

Bucky and Nikki reached the location a half hour later. They pulled off onto the side of the road and began to turn down a gravel road when Bucky suddenly turned the vehicle off.

“What are you doing?” Nikki asked as Bucky unbuckled.

“We’re doing recon and these guys are military contractors. If we drive right up we’re just looking for an ambush.” Nikki weighed his words before following him out of the vehicle. “If we sneak up, get the lay of the land, scope out any entrances or exits we’ll be on a level playing field.”

“You’re right,” Nikki let out as a quiet sigh. A smile tugged on the corners of Bucky’s lips but he made sure to keep it hidden from her. Bucky led the way, crouching closer to the ground and walking quickly down the gravel road. His hand rested lightly on the holster obscured by his shirt, and Nikki followed behind him, her own gun pointed downward in her hands.

Bucky looked around the area before approaching the building that sat at the end of the gravel road. A dark sedan sat in front of the small, concrete building. There was a dull metal door, a couple of air vents, and an air conditioning unit outside the building. The rest of the area around the building was nothing but grass.

“Somewhere they could control the environment, huh?” Nikki whispered as she moved behind Bucky.

“I know I’ve been a hot head lately,” he answered, “but sometimes it’s worth it to trust me.”

“Noted,” Nikki nodded as they got closer to the building. “That’s a camera above the door, isn’t it?”

“Yes. And we’re going to try to stay out of its view.”

Bucky stepped into the grass carefully, anticipating any traps, and Nikki moved with him. They managed to circumvent the camera’s view, or so they hoped, and reached another side of the building. Nikki began to ask Bucky a question as they rested their backs against the concrete wall, but Bucky held a finger up to his lips. He was trying to listen through the vents, but the hum of the air conditioner made it hard to hear. He lowered himself onto the ground so he could put his ear to the grate for better access.

After a moment of hesitation all he heard was, “Deal another hand. Best two out of three.” Her captors were playing cards to busy themselves, like sitting ducks. And that didn’t sit right to him.

As Bucky pushed himself back up, he whispered, “There has to be a trap or an extra security measure. One camera and a couple guys is not enough.”

“What do you think it could be? A weapon?” Nikki asked as she glanced at Peggy’s gun she was holding at her hip.

“I’m not sure. Let’s keep looking,” Bucky responded before motioning for her to follow him.

* * *

I’d managed to down another bottle of water since Sterling had visited me. He was camped outside my door, and after I’d asked him for the drink, he decided he wanted to talk. I was surprised he hadn’t come back into my room yet, since he seemed like a personable guy. He was doing his best to soothe my fear and distrust of him, trying to get me to lower my guard so he could get intel.

I had a feeling every question he asked, he already knew the answer to.

“So that was your girlfriend, Nikki, right?” I’d been giving him the bare minimum, just yes or no answers. My instinct was to bite my lip, but it was still swollen and too painful to chew on.

“Yeah,” I answered weakly.

“So you’re, what, bi?”

“I-, uh,” I hesitated, not sure why he was drawing that conclusion.

“I’m guessing that based on the fact that I know you were in Bucharest with Bucky, and while you denied knowing him, the boss GPS tracked you two together at a bar in Brooklyn a couple years back.”

Of course this was a rigged game. They knew exactly what they were doing with me. I already knew I was a pawn to get to the Avengers, but this said this was about Bucky too if someone had tracked our whereabouts that long ago.

“Also, people who don’t know who we’re questioning them about, tend not to spit in our faces.”

“Matthis is a dick,” I managed.

Sterling chuckled loudly, “You’re not wrong. Some days I want to spit on him too.” We remained silent for a moment and I prayed that Bucky wouldn’t walk into this trap.

“Do you want that jello now?”

My stomach had been hurting for a couple hours and I didn’t think I could fight it off anymore. “Why not?” I answered and received another chuckle from him.

“I’ll grab you a couple and I’ll be back.” I heard his feet shuffle away from my door and I pushed myself up from my bed. As much as I wanted to be kicking and screaming in this place, it was clear that I couldn’t do too much without hurting myself worse.

A moment later, Sterling’s footsteps returned and he unlocked the door between us. As he pushed open the door I sat forward, letting out a sharp whimper.

“Be careful,” Sterling warned as he pulled a chair up. I rolled my eyes at him and stuck a hand out for him to place my jello in. He gave me the spoon first before peeling back the lid from the cup. “In case you’d have a hard time with it,” he added as he handed me the jello and looked at my bandaged hand.

“Thanks, I guess,” I muttered as I took it from him.

He kicked a foot up on the edge of my cot with a smirk on his lips. “So Barnes and you, you two dated?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I answered quietly before taking a bite.

“Oh come on, we know. He wasn’t the Winter Soldier then, right?” I glared at him as I took another bite. “His programming must have completely failed by that point. The Winter Soldier, well I’m lucky I never met him, but he was a monster. He had no emotions, just did what he was told, nothing more than a tool to command. A weapon who wasn’t allowed to have more than a physical relationship, and that’s only when his controllers wanted…”

I kept my gaze on my jello cup, ignoring Sterling’s ramblings. I didn’t want to think about Bucky before I met him, in fact I’d done everything in my power to prevent the Winter Soldier from being associated with Bucky in my mind. The only Bucky that existed to me was post-Winter Soldier Bucky. The pieces of him that survived the experimentation and the abuse.

Of course I’d heard stories about him over the years, both as a young man fighting in WWII and as the asset, and it made our relationship feel more distant. Like there were too many moving parts, too many pieces of him that I could never really know or understand. That this nearly indestructible man had been living a long life, and I only got a small piece of him. That I was just an insignificant and tiny fragment of his story. And I knew he’d been forced to do horrible things, he had no choice. I’d kept that separate from who he was to me. But if I had to listen to someone talk about his missions and conquests, I felt like my jello might come back up.

“Can you not?” I cut him off.

“Does it bother you?”

“Not really. I know some of the stories that got passed down after the fall of SHIELD. It’s just, kinda boring.”

“Boring? Well I’m guessing the sex wasn’t boring,” Sterling continued, causing me to nearly choke on my food. “I mean, the stories about how he seduced so many women just to gain access to their homes. He was the closest thing to a male black widow, I mean, he was even a teacher in the Red Room. He taught Natasha Romanoff half of what she knows, and there are still rumors about their relationship being more than professional.”

I let out another deep sigh, “I really don’t know why you’re telling me this? I met this guy like twice, at most, when we both lived in Bucharest. And the bar in Brooklyn thing? I went to see some old friends from college. If he was there, it was purely coincidence.”

“You can keep denying everything, but no one would believe anything you’re saying based on the look in your eyes alone.”

I dropped my gaze from him and pulled one of my legs into my chest.

“No, no, don’t shut down on me now. We were just getting somewhere interesting,” he added as he poked my thigh with the toe of his boot. “We don’t care whether you tell us anything. The boss just said to keep you here and that’s what I’m doing. I can change the subject though, what do you want to talk about?”

“Why don’t you tell me about yourself, Sterling?”

He rewarded me with a toothy smile. “I’m flattered, but that’s normally not how this goes.” He stared at me and as I finished my first jello cup I elbowed his boot before sticking my hand out for the second cup. He hesitated and I gave him my best puppy dog eyes until he ripped open the next container for me. “Okay, I don’t see why not.”

* * *

I finished two more jello cups and had been escorted to the bathroom and back by the time Sterling’s life story started coming to an end. I really wasn’t that interested in what he had to say, but I was willing to listen to almost anything to avoid thinking about Bucky, the team, and the trap I was inevitably leading them to.

“So after I finished my last tour in Afghanistan, I came back home and tried to find work,” Sterling started to conclude. He’d had to help me walk to the bathroom, and as he brought me back to my room I felt extremely tempted to reach for his gun. “I couldn’t find anything that paid well, and when a private contractor offered more money to have me work in a team for him, I couldn’t say no.”

“Is that how you ended up working for your current boss?” I asked as he finished helping me get to my bed.

“Ahhh, you think you’re clever,” he chuckled as he helped me sit back down. He squatted in front of me to get closer to my eye level. “No, I’ve worked with this team for several different men over the last year.”

“Oh, okay,” I answered and forced myself to nod. He stayed near me and continued to watch me closely. “Is it wrong to want to know who paid money for you to abduct and hold me?”

Sterling’s focus broke as he smiled, “No, no it is not.” He patted my knee gently, “But I can’t give you that.”

“I understand,” I muttered and then covered a yawn.

“You should get some more rest,” he commented as he helped me push myself back on the bed.

“I can manage,” I commented as I started to pull the small blanket up.

“I know,” he laughed but continued to move my body. He bent over my cot for a second and lifted the edge of my shirt to check the bandages. “You haven’t bleed anymore, that’s good.” Yet, he didn’t move his hand from my body. As I looked up at him, every fiber of my being started screaming.

His mouth came toward me quickly and I turned my head to avoid it. His lips hit my cheek with force and sharp pain shot through my face. “What the fuck are you doing?” I asked as I tried to push him off of me.

His hands gripped my wrists tightly, squeezing my bruises from previous restraints. “Stop moving.”

“Stop it,” I spoke louder, kicking a leg out toward him.

“You don’t have to fight me. Just because you have a girlfriend doesn’t mean we can’t have some fun.”

“Get off me!” I screamed and kicked again. To stop my kicking he straddled my thighs and pinned my hands above my head.

“No one’s judging you. You like me, it’s okay,” he kept speaking as he lowered himself onto me.

“No, I don’t,” I yelled in his face as he leaned over me.

“You just spent the last 30 minutes flirting with me. I’d say you definitely want this.” I tried to kick him or punch him again, but his mouth finally made contact with mine. I felt my food rising in my throat. As he kissed me I took my opening and bit his lip hard enough he let out a muffled scream.

“What the fuck!” He pulled back from my mouth and moved to hold both my wrists in one of his hands so he could clench my jaw. As his fingers dug into my face they sent a searing pain spreading throughout my bruises. “You want to get kinky?” he asked, his lip beginning to bleed. “I can make that happen.”

* * *

Bucky hadn’t been able to make out too much from the vent system, but he clearly heard a yelled, “Get off me!” As he paused and got closer to the duct he heard a loud, “No I don’t,” followed a couple seconds later by a “What the fuck!” His eyes shot up to Nikki’s as they both heard a screamed, “Stop, please stop.”

“That’s her,” Nikki said quickly, her breath barely reaching her lungs as her pulse spiked. Bucky pushed himself up and moved toward the metal door. Nikki raised her gun as she followed him.

They hesitated as they reached the side of the building with a camera, and Bucky glanced over his shoulder at Nikki to make sure she was with him. His eyes blazed with rage and his metal arm buzzed with electricity, but Nikki’s gaze had gone completely cold and empty. Bucky didn’t have the time to dwell on that.

He rounded the corner and gripped the door’s handle in his metal hand. With a quick yank, he pulled the door from its hinges and Nikki ducked as he threw it behind him. An alarm blared from inside the building as Bucky led the way, his gun drawn. As they made it down the hallway the alarm continued to roar in their ears, drowning out the sound of heavy footfall.

When they reached the end of the hallway and stepped into a small room, Bucky barely had time to adjust as a large bald man came barreling to him. The man smacked Bucky’s gun aside and used his shoulder to push Bucky into the cement wall. Bucky let out a controlled groan, bracing himself against the wall as he pushed the man back with his metal arm.

Nikki moved around them, her focus undisturbed. As she stepped into the room, she saw two men, one limping and the other (Y/N’s) torturer, moving toward a doorway that led to a stairwell. She moved to cut them off but one made his way down the stairwell before her. She fired two shots at the man who was limping, and he crumbled to the ground.

Bucky shoved the bald man away from him before swinging at him. The man dodged him and wrapped his arms around Bucky’s waist before throwing him down the hallway and toward the stairs. Nikki chased Matthis down the stairwell and fired one shot at him. It hit his arm and he cursed but kept moving. As she reached the bottom of the stairs, Matthis grabbed her by the shoulders and shoved her hard against the floor. She let out a hard ‘oof’ as her head smacked the ground, and Matthis grinned at her.

“That’s such a lovely sound,” he whispered as he gripped her throat in his hand. Nikki’s eyes stayed blank as Matthis got closer to her face. He leaned down and taunted, “I’m gonna kill you and your girlfriend.” As the words left his lips Nikki hooked one of her legs around his knee and pulled him even farther onto her. She fired a shot into his chest. Blood spattered across her face.

He let out a sharp yell as his grip loosened on Nikki, and she shoved him off of her and pushed herself up. She turned back to face Matthis, and fired one more shot at him.

Bucky rolled onto his feet and reached for his gun. He fired two shots at the large man, but neither seemed to affect him. The man charged at him and kicked Bucky in the chest, pushing him into the stairwell. As Bucky rolled down the steps, Nikki moved onto the large metal door at the end of the hallway. She unlocked it and pushed it open as Bucky landed on Matthis’ body at the bottom of the stairs. The large man followed him down the stairs as Bucky rolled off Matthis.

As Bucky stood back the bald man stepped over Matthis and started to swing at him. Bucky caught the man’s fist and punched him twice in the stomach before tossing the man down the hallway. Nikki made it into the room to find (Y/N) being used as a shield by the last guy, Sterling. He had a hand wrapped around her neck and his other hand held a knife against her stomach.

(Y/N)’s hands were bound together by a leather belt and tears stained her swollen cheeks. Nikki felt panic creep up her spine as she hesitated for the first time. She hated seeing her girlfriend like this and her rage only seemed to rise in her chest more.

Bucky’s metal hand clasped the large man’s throat as he lifted him off the ground and carried him into the room. The man clawed at Bucky’s arm but he didn’t react to him, his eyes zoned in on (Y/N). Her soft whimpers broke his heart and made him want to run toward her, but instead he tightened his hold on the man’s neck.

“Stay back! I’ll stab her, I swear!” Sterling shouted as he pulled (Y/N) along with him. Bucky pushed the large man’s body up against the wall as Sterling moved toward the door. Nikki stayed in her spot, keeping her gun trained on the man as he nudged (Y/N) with his blade.

The large man gasped for air as his face grew bluer, but Bucky didn’t let up on his grip. Sterling reached the door and started to turn his back on the room.

(Y/N) yelled breathily, “Now!” as she was forced through the doorway. Nikki moved quickly, firing two shots at Sterling’s back. The man fell forward, pushing (Y/N) down with him. Sterling started to crawl away, his legs not working. Nikki closed the distance between them and fired one last shot at him.

She turned back to Bucky quickly, pointing her gun at the large man, and she aimed at his head. Bucky spoke deeply, “No, don’t.” As she pulled the trigger on the pistol, it clicked, telling her the magazine was empty and instead of trying again, she tossed the gun to the ground. Bucky banged the man’s head against the wall, knocking the man out, and then dropped his body.

Nikki rolled (Y/N) onto her back and held her girlfriend’s face in her hands. She smiled up at her, tears in her eyes. Nikki leaned down and kissed her gently on the lips, tears suddenly springing to her own eyes too. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,” Nikki whispered against her as she cradled her head.

“Don’t be,” (Y/N) whispered hoarsely and she tried her best to not grimace.

Bucky slid to the doorway and looked down at the sight, relief flooding his limbs. He’d found her. She’d be okay now. (Y/N) gave Bucky a weak smile and attempted to wave at him when she suddenly winced. Bucky squatted down and lifted (Y/N)’s wrist up to find Sterling’s blade buried in her side. Blood spread from the injury quickly and Bucky made sure not to remove the knife as he examined the wound.

“Shit,” Nikki whispered as she redirected her attention to (Y/N)’s side.

“We’re gonna get you help,” Bucky said. “I promise.”


	10. The Fallout

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve, Sam, and Wanda show up to hell breaking loose. (Entirely in 3rd person.)

Steve, Sam, and Wanda pulled up to the small concrete building just as Bucky carried (Y/N) out of the front door. Nikki jogged past them and yanked open the back door of the SUV before jumping in it.

“Sam, we need you NOW,” Bucky demanded. Sam would have normally ignored his request or snapped back at him, the look on Bucky’s face told him enough. This was not the time to argue.

Sam rushed to the vehicle, leaving Wanda and Steve standing in silence, confused about what had happened. After exchanging a brief look, Wanda followed Sam’s path and found a sight that dared to pull her into her own painful memories. (Y/N) was strewn across the middle seat of the SUV, her head in Nikki’s lap as Sam leaned into the SUV, trying to gauge the growing stain of blood on (Y/N).

Bucky took several steps back from the scene, needing space to consider what would come next. His emotions and his thoughts battling inside him, trying to figure out what more he could do. Steve saw his opportunity and approached Bucky slowly. “What happened, Buck?”

“We-, we tried to wait, I swear. But we heard her screaming and, and one of the guys was hurting her. I didn’t think about it, I just-, I just had to get to her.” The pain and fear in Bucky’s eyes made Steve want to reach out for him, but he kept his hands at his sides.

“She got hurt?” Steve asked, his eyes sympathetic. Bucky wouldn’t meet his gaze but gave him a small nod. “How bad is it Buck?” He remained silent but the tears that burned his eyes answered the question.

“Steve!” Sam called from the SUV. He moved hesitantly, watching Bucky as he walked to the vehicle. “I need to get her to a hospital. I can’t remove the knife without her bleeding out worse, and we can’t wait for the quinjet or Tony.”

“Okay.” Steve answered, finally getting a peek at (Y/N) wound. “Do what you have to.”

“Bucky!” Nikki shouted from the backseat, pulling him out of his thoughts. “Bucky, get over here!”

He moved around the vehicle and opened the door to Nikki, “I-, I don’t think-.”

“Get in the driver’s seat.”

He wanted to argue but gulped as his eyes settled on (Y/N)’s sweat covered forehead. Her eyes met his and her pained grimace nearly transformed into something else, something that dared his heart to beat with hope. “Bucky,” she whispered as she reached a hand out to him, but winced and recoiled.

“Don’t,” he warned taking a step closer to her.

She rolled her eyes at him, somehow appearing just how she had in Bucharest but so very different at the same time. “That big guys still in there, isn’t he?” He nodded. “Make sure he doesn’t get away.”

“Steve can get him.”

A small smirk tugged on her grimace. “I’ll be okay. Just make sure all of this wasn’t for nothing. Find out who the hell hired him and who’s targeting you all.”

Nikki watched the exchange silently, and as Bucky’s jaw clenched she knew he was staying. Yet his body didn’t move from the door.

“We need to move now,” Sam called as he slid into the car and under (Y/N)’s legs.

“I’ve got her, I promise,” Nikki said as Bucky’s eyes locked on her. The look that passed between them was one of understanding.

Wanda pushed past Bucky and spoke to Nikki, “I’m not a very good driver, so you’re going to have to get us to a hospital.”

“Wait-,” Nikki started as Wanda lifted (Y/N)’s head.

“I can help with the pain, you worry about the road.”

* * *

Steve waited for the SUV to drive off before he turned his attention to the concrete building. He stood back as Bucky stalked past him, stomping past the metal door laying on the ground. There was a loud beeping sound coming from inside, but Steve was more worried about his friend. He stepped over the threshold after him, watching how Bucky’s shoulder blades tensed as he walked and his metal fist clenched and buzzed with electricty.

He was carrying his stress in his mind while he channeled his anger into his body. Again.

The alarm became louder as Steve stepped into a small room with flashing red lights. Bucky proceeded down the stairwell as Steve stayed behind and examined the scene. There were clear signs of a fight from the damaged walls. A man laid in a pool of blood next to a card table, his leg in a brace. As Steve got closer to him, he noticed it was Connelly. And the bullet wounds.

One in the chest.

One in the head.

Steve’s nostrils flared as he took in a sharp breath of air. This wasn’t how the Avengers did things. He knew Bucky was angry and maybe the programming’s deadliness took control for a moment. But if assassin level kills were still something he could tap into that easily, maybe he shouldn’t be on the team.

Steve closed the guy’s eyelids and turned to the stairs. He found another body at the bottom of the stairwell and as he rolled that man over, his unease subsided for a moment. Matthis, the man who shot and tortured (Y/N) was taken down by three shots. One in the arm, one in the abdomen, and one in the back of the head.

He didn’t bother to close Matthis’s eyes. He’d wanted to get in a few good punches on the man’s face for what he’d done, but his attention was caught on the largest pool of blood he’d seen that day. At the end of the cement hallway was another man, he assumed Sterling. Two holes in his back, and one in his head.

These weren’t accidental deaths. These were get the job done deaths.

And that didn’t feel like Bucky.

Accuracy and speed was the Winter Soldier’s MO. Bucky’s should have been more revenge driven. More drawn out, and the only kill that looked like it took a minute was Sterling’s.

Bullet casings and an old gun littered the floor as Steve stepped into the plain room to find Bucky gathering the huge man and throwing him over his shoulder as best he could. Steve tried to find Bucky’s eyes but he kept his head down as he carried the large man out of the room. Steve hesitated, looking at a small metal chair kicked to its side and the small cot with its blanket tangled up.

The large metal restraint chair sat in the corner, and upon closer inspection he noticed several spots of dried blood.

The unnerving sense of alarm slid away. Sure, this wasn’t something he could allow to happen. Bucky would need to be placed in mandatory counseling. But knowing what (Y/N) had gone through over the past few days, the lifeless bodies on the floor didn’t disturb him anymore.

Was he going to have to answer for them?

Yes.

Was he going to lose sleep because of them?

No.

* * *

Steve approached Bucky as he leaned the man against the car. “Tell me you have restraints of some kind?” He did his best to make sure the man’s hands were pinned behind him.

“Buck, we need to talk.”

“We can talk after I make sure he can’t get away or hurt us.”

“Let me see what Stark packed.” Steve leaned into the car and dug through a small bag. “That scene in there. That’s not something I want to see again.”

“Either you have some giant handcuffs that can hold him or I’m breaking his wrists.”

“I’m not joking Bucky,” Steve snapped before holding out two small metal wristlets. “That can’t happen again.”

“It won’t.” Bucky fastened the wristlets around the man’s huge wrists before clicking them together twice and taking a step back. The bracelets expanded, turning into large metal cuffs that reached the man’s forearms.

“I don’t know how I’m supposed to cover that up. We don’t work off the books. You know that.”

The phone in Bucky’s back pocket started ringing and he shoved the man roughly into the backseat. He slammed the door behind him as he pulled out the phone.

“Transporting bodies, cleaning up murders. That’s not what we do.”

“I know it’s not.” Bucky didn’t recognize the number but from the area code he assumed it was Nikki.

“Can you promise it won’t happen again?”

“I can.” The phone rang for the fifth time as Bucky swiped his thumb across the screen.

“Are you sure?”

“I am.” Bucky lifted the phone to his ear, hearing Nikki’s voice tell him (Y/N) was being taken back for surgery. He answered her with quiet “good” before he hung up.

“Buck, you-.”

He leveled one last look Steve’s way, putting his concerns to rest. “I’m sure, because I’m not the one who dropped those bodies.”


	11. Safety

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reader wakes up post-surgery, Steve and Bucky transport their new fugitive. Some feelings sneak in.

The lighting in the room was different, fluorescent and bright, like the operating table had been. The chemical disinfectant smell overwhelmed my nose and I shot forward as fast as I could. A sharp pain spread across my body and ripped a whimper from your dry lips.

“Hey, hey hey. Your safe now,” a familiar voice said. Hands rubbed my arm soothingly, and my eyes took a second to focus on the man next to me. Sam’s warm brown eyes were worried, his brows furrowed as he hunched toward me. “We got you.”

I wanted to throw my arms around him, hug him for as long as I could, but the pain in my gut told me not to yet. Sam’s hands guided me back onto the hospital bed and the severity of the pain shrunk. “It’s good to see you,” I managed as I reached a hand out to him.

A smile flickered across his features as his hand wrapped around mine, “It’s good to see you too.” Tears burned in my eyes as Sam’s smile turned from relieved to concerned. “For a moment there, I thought I was gonna lose ya.”

“I did too.” My fingers squeezed his as a wave of understanding passed between us. I knew I needed a good hug and talk from him, but first we just needed to get through the day.

A soft snore pulled my attention away from Sam. Nikki was spread across two chairs, her head pressed against the wall causing her little curls to poke up at different angles. A smile reached my lips and I tried not to laugh at how she’d angled her body in her usual sleep position, one leg straight out, the other bent, an arm tucked under her head and an arm hanging away from her body.

“She tried to stay awake as long as she could, but she’s exhausted.”

“I’m sure, she wasn’t gonna let you guys have all the fun.”

“Here I was, thinking you were the badass in all your relationships,” Sam chuckled. “But then I find out there’s two of you.”

“We’re a package deal.”

Wanda pushed the door to the room open, her eyes lighting up as they landed on me. “You’re awake,” she grinned as she rushed to my side. As her ring covered fingers clicked on the metal railings of the bed, Nikki stirred from her sleep, taking a moment to reorient herself.

Her eyes adjusted to the lighting, rapidly blinking as she stretched from her uncomfortable position. The moment her gaze met mine, her yawn turned into a relieved smile and she hopped out of her seat. Throwing herself on the bed, she enveloped me in a hug while doing her best not to hurt me.

I let out a shaky sigh, attempting to ignore the sharpness of my side as I hugged her back. “I’m alright babe.”

“You got stabbed and shot (Y/N). There was a very real chance you weren’t going to be alright.”

“I’m know, but I’m here, and I’m stitched up. I’m going to be fine.” Tears welled up in Nikki’s eyes and I leaned my forehead against hers. “I’m safe and you don’t need to worry anymore.”

A tear slid down her cheek as she pulled my mouth to hers, kissing me for what felt like the first time in forever. I melted against her, somehow feeling my pain dim from sharp to soft.

“What did Steve say?” Sam asked as he stood up, trying to give us our privacy.

“They’ll be here in an hour,” Wanda answered as she pushed open the door to take Sam to the hallway. Nikki slipped under the blanket beside me, cuddling into me carefully. Wanda gave me one last look from the door, a smile tugging at her lips. As much as I wanted to reach out to hug her, thank her for her presence and her dulling of my pain, I knew I couldn’t yet.

Instead I gave her a grateful smile and mouthed thank you. She gave me a small nod and shut the door.

* * *

Steve and Bucky had headed for the quinjet while Nikki took the rest of the group to the hospital. The ride was tense and quiet, the silence only interrupted when the large man in the backseat woke up. He stirred with a sharp intake of breath and a cough, and as he came back to consciousness he turned his attention to Bucky.

“It’s good to see you again, Mr. Barnes.” Bucky kept his back to the man, not wanting to look him in the eye and feel his anger boil back to the surface. “The boss will be happy to know (Y/N) was an effective target.”

Steve’s eyes nervously darted to Bucky, both worrying and hoping the abductor would get a rise out of him. An emotional display would mean Bucky hadn’t just compartmentalized everything that had happened, but a response could be dangerous and this man could risk triggering the altered pieces of the Winter Soldier programming. When Bucky still refused to speak, Steve decided he’d let himself ask the questions he wanted answers to.

“Why’d you take her?”

“Because we were paid to,” the man answered honestly.

“So you don’t know what your boss wanted from this?”

“That’s above my pay level. He told me where she’d be, what to say, where to take her. If she died, the rest of our pay wouldn’t go through.”

Bucky’s eyes stayed on the road as his curiosity finally took over his silent anger. “It was all a trap then, wasn’t it?”

A chuckle echoed from the backseat, “Considering all my men are dead, trap doesn’t seem like the right word to me.”

“So this all was to get a rise out of us?” Steve asked.

“I’m guessing it was. Maybe it was some kind of test to see what she meant to you all. And clearly, it got a response.”

Bucky’s eyes darted to the rear view mirror, meeting the man’s gaze. “If we hadn’t come for her, would you have let her go?”

“I’d like to think we would have. I liked her, she’s a fighter, but most likely he would have told us to kill her after a while. She would have been a loose end.”

Bucky’s jaw tensed at the mans words, and for a moment Steve saw the flash of anger, the ruthless urge for revenge building in his friend again. “Buck, there’s a sedative in the bag under your feet.”

A laugh came from the man as Bucky remained frozen. He let out a loud sigh as he rolled onto his side, “Even handcuffed and picked off, I can still piss you off and play you. Oh how the Winter Soldier has fallen.”

Bucky’s arm buzzed, his fist clenching as he looked over his shoulder. The anger drained from his eyes, being replaced by an empty coldness. A gaze too familiar to Steve for him to let it continue any longer.

“Get the sedative,” Steve demanded as he smacked Bucky’s wrist. When Bucky ignored him, he swerved to the side of the road.

An amused grin spread on the man’s face as he stared at Bucky, “There’s that monster in you, soldat. Always under the surface, waiting to get back out.”

Steve unbuckled and yanked the bag out from under his friends feet as he prayed Bucky wouldn’t take this man’s bait. He dug through the bags contents trying to find the sedative.

“I remember how you were in Siberia. A ruthless machine, killing without blinking. HYDRA had it right with you.”

Once Steve found a needle he turned around in his seat and grabbed the man’s jaw, tilting his head to the side. The man didn’t even try to fight Steve but opened his mouth to speak again as Steve plunged the needle into his neck. The man didn’t react at first, letting Steve do it but once the needle was out of his skin he leaned backwards. Bucky’s empty gaze softened as Steve turned back around, and the man closed his eyes, his breathing becoming heavier.

Steve buckled back up and the man managed to speak again, “I don’t know how a woman like that could love you, Barnes. After everything you’ve done, I don’t know how she could look you in the eye. But from what I’ve heard, I guess she couldn’t, right? That’s why she left you in New York.”

Bucky kept his back to the man now, waiting for him to fall asleep. Steve pulled onto the road, letting the silence hang in the air before he could speak. It had been so long since he’d seen that hardened gaze, and no matter how often he’d worried about Bucky, this was the closest he’d got to the Winter Soldier since Germany.

Once Steve was sure the man was out cold, he glanced over at his friend, “You know he was saying all that to get a response from you, right? Nothing he said was true.”

“Steve, I’m fine.”

“As your friend, you know it’s my job to know when you’re lying.”

“Steve-,”

“None of what he said mattered. You could have killed him back there, but you didn’t.” The way Steve looked at Bucky made him want to jump out of the vehicle. “You’re not what they made you anymore.”

“I know that.”

“Good.”

The vehicle grew quiet again, and Steve was almost content with Bucky’s lack of response to the man. But the way Bucky looked said something else was wrong, with his shoulder hunched forward as his eyes drooped. Maybe he was just tired, but Steve was sure it was more than that.

“You can stop looking at me like I’m about to snap.” Steve blinked as he focused back on the road. “I know what he said was just to provoke me. And my past didn’t cause her to love me any more or less. But he wasn’t wrong about what I did, or what I became. And she still left me.”

* * *

Steve and Bucky made it to the hospital as planned, having dropped their fugitive at Avengers HQ, but landing the quinjet was a more complex problem. They’d lucked out on the office park in Virginia, but after several minutes of searching the area, had to land on the edge of a parking lot and small field on the other side of the medical plaza.

Wanda got the phone call and reluctantly woke Nikki and I from our sleep. The hospital argued about discharging me, repeatedly saying I wasn’t healed up enough to walk or travel and that I needed to file a police report. Sam assured the nurses they’d be taking me to another doctor with even more high tech equipment, and around the clock nurses. Also that the government was investigating and that the police weren’t necessary, but it took a phone call from Tony Stark for her to let me leave. Once he’d smooth talked the nurse, they patched him through to billing.

The next dilemma came in figuring out how to get me to the quinjet. A wheelchair was the easiest answer, but I couldn’t really sit up without worrying about ripping my stitches. A gurney would have to be returned to the correct wing of the hospital. Wanda suggested levitating me but I didn’t want to cause anymore of a scene than had already taken place. I decided on walking, ignoring how painful it was. Nikki kept a helpful arm around my back, doing her best to support me as we made our way across the hospital and its accompanying offices.

Nikki’s SUV was parked somewhere in the area, and I brought it up as we reached the last exit sign of the medical plaza.

“I have an idea for that,” Wanda winked over her shoulder as she pushed open the door.

Steve and Bucky were waiting on the back door of the quinjet. As Bucky’s eyes landed on me, he took off jogging.

In the mess of the last day, I hadn’t had the time to take him in fully. He wore a pair of dark jeans and a navy shirt with his favorite combat boots. His hair had grown out since New York, somewhere between the softness of Bucharest but the style of pre-war Bucky. He’d obviously gotten very little sleep, the bags under his eyes were heavy and his scruff was a couple days old.

His flesh arm slid around my unsupported side, and I tried to ignore the nervousness that crawled up my spine. My ex and my current girlfriend carrying my pitiful self to a jet together. The universe truly has a twisted sense of humor.

They got me to a small cot when Nikki glanced at Wanda, “So what was your idea about my car?”

Bucky worked on getting me strapped in as a smile reached Wanda’s lips, “Teleportation.”

I smacked at Bucky’s hands, trying to get him to let me buckle myself up. He did his best not to smile at me, but I noticed how his eyes crinkled when he whispered, “I see you’re feeling better.”

“Could we not have teleported to the quinjet?” Sam asked from somewhere behind my head.

“Sam, we’re people, a car’s an object,” Wanda answered, as I tried to strap my waist in. When I let out a small whine of pain, Bucky’s fingers pushed mine out of the way and finished the job.

“Wanda hasn’t had a chance to perfect it yet,” Steve called from the cockpit.

“Things are easier than people,” she nodded as she got into her seat.

The door of the jet closed and the engine started to rumble. Bucky finished the strap for my legs and started to turn around when I brushed my fingers against his hip. He looked down at me and I managed to whisper, “Thank you.”

His gaze changed from almost happy to something else, something pained and sad. His jaw tensed as he gulped, and the aching of my gut crawled its way up to my heart. I’d never meant to hurt him, but I had. And while I wanted to apologize for New York, I knew I did what was right at the time. Too much time had passed for an apology to seem sincere, but one still sprang to my lips.

Bucky spoke instead, his own fingers brushing mine, “You know I’ll come for you, whenever you need me to.”


	12. Hiding

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The reader heals under supervision at Avengers HQ. The team interrogate the only surviving abductor. Goodbyes are said.

Fingers brushed my wrist, causing me to stir from my sleep. My eyes took a moment to adjust, but they focused on Nikki who was leaning toward me from her chair.

“Babe, Helen’s coming to see how you’re feeling,” she spoke softly, her dark eyes watching me with concern.

It had been 2 days since I was brought to the Avengers compound, and most of my bruises were still a deep shade of blue and purple. They didn’t hurt as much, but that probably had to do with whatever painkillers Dr. Helen Cho and her associates were using on me. My fingers had been reset and rebandaged (while I tried my best not to scream) before being placed in a new brace. My more serious wounds were a different issue.

The bullet wounds were healing better than anticipated. The doctor who’d stitched me up in that abandoned clinic had actually done a decent job, but of course I’d ripped those stitches during my fight with Sterling, and then again with my escape from the hospital. The doctors at HQ stitched me up again and were watching to see if the wounds would get infected, but they were pretty sure I’d be fine.

The stab wound was being a little more difficult. The hospital had done a decent job with stopping my internal bleeding, but my intestines were healing much slower. My body couldn’t handle solid food yet, and probably wouldn’t be able to for another week or two. The liquid diet was a little rough too, but everyone was doing their best to take care of me. 

But me being useless and tethered to a bed for another two weeks wasn’t ideal for anyone.

Dr. Cho had some type of technology that could rebuild my damaged tissue and nerves, healing me at an impossibly quick rate, but she didn’t want to use it on me unless we had no other options. Her technology had been weaponized before and she’d vowed to use discretion in the future. I was fine with that, but other members of the team weren’t so happy.

I’d heard her arguing in the hallway with both her fellow doctors and the Avengers about it. From the muffled voices, it sounded like Bucky and Wanda both wanted Helen to take the risk, while Steve and Sam were against accelerating the healing process. Obviously, Nikki was for anything that could help me get better, but she never participated in any of the opinion voicing outside my door. During the last couple days, she had only left my side to call her job, get food, and go to the bathroom.

Two soft knocks echoed from the wooden door before I saw the knob twist open. Dr. Cho emerged with 3 other doctors in tow and a small tablet in her hands.

“Hi Ms. (Y/L/N),” Dr. Cho gave me a small smile as she saw me try to push myself up onto the pile of pillows behind my back. Nikki moved quickly, helping me sit up. “I see you’re eager to rip open your stitches again.”

“Doctor, I think you know by now that patiently waiting isn’t my strong suit.” I didn’t realize what I’d said until it was too late. Dr. Cho’s eyes met mine and there was a silent exchange of understanding. I knew she’d helped Bucky reintegrate into life in the US as well as with the Avengers. She knew all about my two years waiting for him, and she probably knew about me ending our relationship as well.

“That’s something we are going to need to work on while you’re here. How are you feeling, besides restless?”

“A little better. Hydrated. I miss food though,” I answered, trying not to pout too much. It hurt to stick out my bottom lip.

Nikki smiled at me, her hand clutching my own, “I fell in love with a girl who knew how to enjoy a meal.”

“How’s your pain level right now?” she asked, approaching the side of my bed that opposite of Nikki.

“I’d say I’m somewhere around a 6 or 7. The pain meds make it a little hard for me to distinguish, but when I move it’s definitely a 7.”

“Do you mind if I take a look?”

I managed to nod and push the covers off my body. My movements felt like a sharp pulling on my muscles, painfully stretching, trying not to rip. She lifted the hem of my shirt, her eyes analyzing the stitches that spread across my abdomen. Her fingers ghosted my skin gently, doing her best not to cause me anymore pain. I could tell from her eyes though, that she wasn’t thrilled by what she was seeing.

“The bullet wounds are closing up nicely, but your larger wound looks like it might be infected.”

“Might?” Nikki asked, arching an eyebrow.

“Yes, might. It’s still early in the healing process but the swelling and redness around the wound hasn’t gone down yet, and the discharge on the bandage looks a little off.” Helen snapped pictures of my stitches on her tablet, recording how I looked today. “I’ll give it until tomorrow, and if it’s not changed anymore I’ll give you some antibiotics, and change your current dosages.”

I started to lower my shirt again when Helen pushed my hand back up. “I’m going to see how your internal organs are doing too.” She opened up an app on her tablet and hovered the lense closer to my skin.

When I’d first been brought into Avengers HQ they’d done a CT scan to see how much internal damage I had. I wasn’t sure what kind of app Helen was using, but I knew it was probably something she created with that genius brain of hers.

The tablet beeped a moment later and she lifted it away from my body as she began touching the screen. I lowered my shirt and tried to peek at what she was doing.

“As I suspected, your internal damage isn’t healing well. Your first injuries occurred when your immune system was healthier, your body was ready to fight. But your time captive wore you down and left you in much worse condition. The fresh wounds are too serious and honestly, your body’s stretched a little thin to be handling all this.”

“Then why don’t you rebuild her body’s missing tissue?” a voice asked from the door. I couldn’t see his face at first, he was hidden behind the cloud of doctors. As they shifted their feet, I saw a face I’d never seen in person but knew well.

“You already know the risks in doing that.” Helen turned to the shorter, dark haired man that I’d first seen on TV when I was in grade school.

Tony Stark.

“Yes, and I also know the results you can provide firsthand.” He moved closer to my bed, stopping next to Helen as he looked at me. “If I’ve been told properly, which I do believe I have been by quite a few people, she’s worth more than every risk that comes with accelerating her recovery.”

I felt the smile inching its way across my face as I stared at Tony, trying to keep myself calm. The rest of the team were heroes and legends in their own rights, but Tony was different. He’d been a public entity, a celebrity, waltzing around in front of paparazzi and partying with the biggest names in the world. I’d seen him in papers and magazines since he was barely out of college. As cool as it was meeting historical heroes, their lives were so different from the last 25 years of modern culture. And Tony had been at the helm of almost all of it.

“Mr. Stark, I’m giving her body another day to see how her healing progresses, and if she’s not doing any better tomorrow, I’ll reconsider using my technology on her then.” Helen stepped back from me, her features slipping into a neutral expression. She didn’t want to let Tony know what she was thinking.

As she approached the door, her associates following behind her, Tony called out, “You can just say you’ll do it! No need to be all vague about it!”

I couldn’t stop myself from grinning at him. He turned back to me, placing his hands on the railing on the side of my bed. He caught my smile and responded with one of his own, and even punctuated it with a little wink.

Nikki cleared her throat and Tony’s eyes shot to her. She must have been glaring at him because he straightened his back and stuck his hand out for me to shake.

“Hi, we haven’t met yet, I’m Tony.”

My smile shrank, but for the first time in days my mind was focused on something besides my pain, my recent trauma, or how I was going to convince everyone that I was okay. “I know who you are.”

“Heard about me from the team I’m guessing.” He released my hand and tucked his own in his pocket. “Hopefully, only good things.”

I thought about bringing up all the tabloid stories I’d read for years, or his countless television interviews, or really anything I knew about him that didn’t involve the team. Bucky had never brought him up to me, and Steve and Sam were tight lipped with my visits back then. Wanda and Nat might have mentioned him in passing, but most of my understanding of him was from his public persona.

Instead, all I could do was stammer out my gratitude, “Thank-, thank you for paying for all this, and the hospital. You didn’t have to. I could have tried to cover all the hospital bills, but I definitely wouldn’t have been able to afford this kinda treatment.”

That same charming smile met his lips as he shrugged. “Don’t mention it. Any friend of literally the  _entire_  team, must be worth it.”

He took a step back, taking in the large room with a full wall of windows that I was staying in. It was a beautiful space that was so very clearly built with his money.

“I wouldn’t say the  _entire_  team,” I answered, my wits returning as he took in the assortment of flowers sitting in the sunlight across from my bed.

“Pretty damn close considering all these names.” He lifted a small card that was attached to one of the vases. “Everyone’s accounted for but Thor, but he’s out in space somewhere, throwing a hammer around and feeling the wind blow through his hair. Oh, and Clint retired, so he doesn’t count.”

“You didn’t send any,” Nikki spoke quietly, her exhaustion sneaking into her words.

“Very observant, Peggy Jr.” Nikki rolled her eyes at him but didn’t retort, which only made his face light up even more. “But Peter, who hasn’t actually met you yet, or so I’m told, doesn’t have the money for this. So technically I did send flowers.”

“Semantics,” I waved a hand, trying to make it seem like I didn’t care.

“Why are you here right now, Stark?” Nikki’s words would have seemed hostile if she’d had enough energy to make them sound like a threat.

Needless to say, Tony could still catch the edge in her tone. “Is it a crime to just want to stop by and introduce myself?”

“Stark-” Nikki warned.

“Fine. I wanted to make sure (Y/N) was comfortable here, and check if you two needed anything.”

“You can cut the bullshit. I know Barnes isn’t posted outside that door for the first time since we got here, so something’s going on.”

I almost head-whipped hard enough to rip a stitch. I hadn’t seen Bucky since I’d been brought to the compound, and while I figured he’d be keeping tabs on my recovery, I hadn’t caught a glimpse of him anywhere near my door.

“You know, we could have been related? My dad loved your grandma so much, he would have married her in an instant. He’d probably been a better man for it too.”

“Tony…” it was my turn to remind him of what mattered at the moment.

“Okay,” he sighed, turning back to my bed. “Your captor that survived is being interrogated right now. While Barnes doesn’t trust me all that much, he wanted to make sure you two wouldn’t be left without any experienced protection.”

“Pretty sure we can handle ourselves,” Nikki muttered.

“Note that I said experienced.”

“Why aren’t you down there? The guy he works for somehow wormed his way into your tech and security Tony,” I asked, trying to break up their building tension.

“Interrogations and I don’t have that great of a track record.”

“I can’t see how Barnes would have a better one than you?” Nikki arched an eyebrow as she spoke.

“You may be right, but Wanda and Steve can keep him from going too far.”

“So you’re just the distraction committee?”

“Protection, I literally just said I’m here for protection.”

“Guys,” I managed, my voice cracking, as I tried to push myself further up on my pillows. I clearly winced at my movements and both Tony and Nikki moved to help me.

They exchanged a look over my shoulder as I adjusted my angle. An understanding seemed to play out between them. After helping me get comfortable again, Tony straightened back up and took a step back from me.

“I’m starting to see why my dad found Peggy both infuriating and amazing.”

“I do my best to live my life in a way she’d approve of,” the smile that took over Nikki changed her facade completely. She sunk back into her chair, a yawn threatening to pass her lips.

“She’d be proud.” The words were meant as a compliment, but accompanied with Tony’s pointed gaze, it was also a retort. Nikki’s smile slid off her face and Tony finally got the message. “I’m, I’m just gonna go, but you hit the red button on the phone next to your bed and I’ll be back in an instant.”

“Please let me know how the interrogation is going, Tony,” I pleaded, my gaze softening Tony’s features and voice.

“I promise,” he nodded before he left the room.

* * *

Steve and Bucky sat across from the man at a metal table. He was shackled by his wrists and feet, facing the hidden double mirror that appeared like a plain wall. Sam stood on the opposite side of the mirror with Wanda, her arms clutched tightly around her as she tried to slip into the man’s mind. He was doing a remarkably good job of blocking out any important thoughts, instead he focused on the men sitting in front of him, and his memories of what he’d seen The Winter Soldier do.

Nat slipped into the hidden room, barely making a noise as she closed the door.

“What’d I miss?” she asked, moving next to Wanda.

Sam answered, but didn’t move his gaze from the men in the room next to them, “The guys haven’t been at it for too long, but I don’t know if they’re going to get anything out of him.”

“He’s Konstantin Petrov, he’s known for not breaking,” Nat scoffed, still in disbelief that no one else had recognized him yet. He was a legend in European intelligence circles. Someone had messed with the cameras so facial recognition wouldn’t work on him, but still, she knew The Winter Soldier and him had worked together multiple times.

“He’s never been interrogated with someone like me on the other side of the glass,” Wanda responded, her jaw setting in a hard line. Determination pushed her telepathy farther, digging into Konstantin’s mind.

“So you don’t know who your boss is, and you’re still claiming you have no idea why you abducted (Y/N)?” Steve asked, pushing himself back in his seat.

“No, I know why I abducted her. I was paid to. And I don’t know why the person who hired me wanted her abducted. Just torture maybe, get the team angry? Or maybe they really did plan on having us kill her? I don’t have those answers for you.”

Steve tried to keep his focus on Konstantin, but he couldn’t stop himself from peeking at Bucky. His face was neutral, stern but not obviously angry. The way his fist clenched in his lap and let off short buzzes told Steve that he was barely holding it together.

“Did you ever meet your employer in person?”

“We were hired through a former colleague of mine.”

“Your colleagues are all dead or fugitives, Petrov. Was this a faction of Hydra or someone else?” Bucky asked, his fingers twitching before balling into a fist again.

“Aren’t you the exception to that rule, soldat?” A smug smirk tugged on his lips as he held Bucky’s gaze.

“What an asshole,” Sam whispered. Wanda winced at the sharp emotions that radiated off of Bucky but tried to push past his feelings and Konstantin’s memories of Bucky.

Steve moved quick, speaking before Bucky had a chance to respond. “Answer the question, was the person who contacted you a member of Hydra?”

“No, independent contractor.”

“That really narrows it down,” Nat whispered but Wanda dug deeper.

An image was becoming clearer in her mind. Unfortunately, it wasn’t a face and a name, but it was something Petrov had been working on hiding.

Sweat beaded on Konstantin’s forehead, a testament to how nervous or worried he was.

“How did he contact you?” Steve slipped in a pronoun for Konstantin’s boss, testing for his response.

Konstantin tried to play it cool, but noticeably gulped, “Online.”

“So a friend gave him your contact info and reached out to you for this job?”

Konstantin’s eyes darted around the room before settling on the black facade of the camera in the corner. After a moment, he turned back to the guys and nodded. His fingers knotted together so tightly, his knuckles were white.

“And how much was he paying you?”

“You know how much. You’ve accessed our bank accounts,” he said, keeping his tone flat, but the veins in his neck started to poke out.

Wanda wasn’t sure if he could feel her poking around his head, or if he was just realizing how much shit he was in. Either way, his subconscious led her to his bank account numbers and emails. His money was obviously kept in offshore holdings, and Tony and Nat had immediately found his account and searched for his boss’s own account from there, but that led to nowhere.

The email alerting Konstantin of when the money was in his account and how much more he’d receive when he finished the job was there, but the email address was linked back to a fake account, with a security account that was another fake and deactivated account. Clearly, this guy knew what he was doing.

“We do, but the money led to nowhere.” Steve’s eyes watched Konstantin wearily, his own lips slipping into a frown that both showed his unhappiness as well as he fatigue. “You never talked to him on the phone? Not once?”

Something caught in Wanda’s trap. A robotic voice, clearly masked but it triggered another moment, a quick flash of a name. Not a real one, but a pseudonym: Ghost.

“No,” he answered as his eyes flicked back to the camera. His jaw set in a harsh line as he lied, but fear crept in his eyes.

“We saw the tape of you picking (Y/N) up and carrying her to the SUV. You were clearly worried about her,” Bucky’s hand stopped humming as Konstantin’s lips thinned into a frown.

“Yes, because we were told to take her alive. Not everyone survives two bullets.”

As the words left his lips, several more emails appeared to Wanda. Messages where Konstantin bartered for more money, information, and loyalty. Even protection from the intelligence community that led to all files on him being erased from every international agency. He knew he was a fugitive in several countries but he thought he was safe from them all, or at least that’s what Ghost wanted him to believe.

The facial recognition software that had come up blank several days before was now working on Konstantin again, and listed even more of his international crimes than were previously recorded.

“And you knew Dr. Martin Jones before he operated on (Y/N) and your men, no?” Steve asked, his elbow resting on the metal table.

Konstantin’s eyes shot to Steve’s intent baby blues, his mouth opening to respond but no words came out.

“Or your boss is the one who put you in contact with the doctor,” Bucky answered as he pushed himself back in his seat.

Konstantin blinked several times as his gaze dropped to the table. Wanda could feel his emotions, cracking inside him, panic nearly shaking his core. He knew he was giving to much away here.

A sharp zap seared across Wanda’s mind, forcing her eyes open as a jolt sent Konstantin’s head back. He let out strangled cry as his muscles tensed and jerked, wrists banging against his restraints.

As quickly as the episode came on, it ended, leaving him slack jawed and slumped in his chair. Steve moved first, reaching for his arm to check his pulse. Nat shoved out of the room, and made it to Konstantin next. Her hands found his face and neck, which were both hot and lifeless.

He was dead.

Wanda collapsed in the hidden room, her finger twitching in her lap as she felt the remnants of the shock that had killed him. Sam moved to her side, checking on her hunched, nearly limp form. She didn’t hear a word he said, just met his eyes with all the strength she could muster.

She read his last question from his lips, “Did you get anything?”

She nodded.

There wasn’t much that Konstantin knew about his boss, Ghost, but she was sure she had everything needed.

* * *

Having my tissue rebuilt was an interesting experience.

Tony argued to have Dr. Cho close up all the “extra holes” in my body, Dr. Cho only wanted to use her technology on the stab wound. I ended up siding with her. I’d survived a hell of a traumatic experience and a couple new scars would serve as a reminder of how I strong I really was. After some more squabbling, Tony ended up taking my side and talking Dr. Cho into leaving me with a cool scar where my stab wound was as well.

He’d said, “Oh, if badass is what we’re trying to achieve, a big scar will take you into Furiosa level badassery.”

Dr. Cho didn’t want to run the risk of my wound growing infected, so she rebuilt the tissue from my internal damage and then part of the tissue for my external damage, leaving me with a still healing slightly jagged line. But I was healed enough that I could finally leave the compound.

We stayed one more night to let my body rest and adjust to its newly fixed organs, but the next morning, Nikki and I planned to get out. We had jobs, family, and friends to see in Virginia, and as nice as it was for me to have the company of my long distance superhero friends, I couldn’t live like this forever. And they couldn’t search for Konstantin’s boss if they had to watch over me.

Tony wouldn’t let us turn down using his private jet to take us home, but that afternoon he had an important meeting to attend so he stopped by early to say his goodbyes.

“You know, I still might be a little bitter that those jerks have been hiding you from me for all these years,” he started as he bent over to hug me in my bed. “But I’m happy we finally got to meet. If Barnes can get over his abandoned puppy pain for a night or two, I’ll make sure Pepper invites you two to our next party. I know she’d love to meet another survivor of the ‘assaulted because of an Avenger’ team.”

“Are women always getting abducted and tortured so villains can get your attention and hurt y’all?” I joked, pulling back from Tony.

“It seems like few bad guys are ever creative enough to think of something else.” That joke actually got a smile out Nikki, and she let her guard down enough to shake Tony’s hand.

As Nikki and I packed up our few belongings, I finally got a glimpse of Bucky through the crack of the door. He was sitting in a chair with his back pressed to space next to the door. The longest section of his hair was pulled into a tiny bun on the top of his head, and he wore a pair of sweatpants and a plain T-shirt. A joke about his little top knot came to mind as I glanced back to Nikki, whose hair was pulled into a high poof as well, but I kept it in, not wanting to upset either of them with a comparison.

Once our bags were packed, Nikki let me lead the way to the elevator at the end of the hall. As I passed Bucky, I caught his steel blue eyes as he looked up at me and his shoulders lowered as his body relaxed into his seat. The corners of his lips pulled up the tiniest bit but the smile didn’t meet his eyes. I could feel him watch me walk down the hallway, but I didn’t get a chance to think about the way my skin still warmed under his stare. Nat, Sam, Wanda, Steve, and a shorter young man stood in front of the elevator, waiting for us.

Sam reached for me first, pulling me into a tight hug that he normally would do while lifting me off the ground, but he didn’t want to risk me ripping my stitches again. I planted a soft kiss on his cheek as I rubbed the stubble on his jaw.

“We better be seeing your ass in a couple months,” I said as his own fingers reached up for my wrist.

“I don’t think that’s the best idea, especially after everything that’s happened,” he answered, wrapping his hand around mine.

“Oh please, I’m not taking any excuses from you. I know you have vacation days.”

“Plus, we’re prepared for this shit now,” Nikki cut in as she wrapped her arms around him. With both of us giving him stern yet puppy-like eyes, he couldn’t say no.

“And don’t be surprised if I find myself near you two either,” Nat said as she yanked me into a hug. “I saw that tape and you really did pick up some of those moves I taught ya. Now I can teach you some harder ones.”

“Wait another month for me to get back into workable shape, and I’ll take that challenge on.” I hugged her back, even swaying with her the slightest bit. As she pulled back she placed a firm kiss on my cheek. I winced slightly, the bruises on my face may have started turning yellow, but they still hurt, and an apology sprang to her lips.

I cut her off by returning the peck, and a blush reddened her cheeks, reminding me of how last time we’d worked together I’d learned how easy she was to fluster sometimes.

Wanda pulled me to her next. Hugging Wanda wasn’t just a physical experience, but an emotional one too. I could instantly feel the way she was trying to soothe my pain, lift my spirits instead of me being sad to leave my friends.

“You know you’re welcome to visit at any time as well,” I whispered as her hands rubbed my back.

“You know I won’t take you up on that.” She pulled back to stare into my eyes, her own fingers ghosting against my jaw.

“A girl can hope. And if not, you could at least call me.”

Her hands clutched mine, giving them a tight squeeze, “I think I can manage that.”

That left big, firm Steve as my last goodbye. He was more careful with me, trying to make sure he didn’t hurt me. But Steve, in many ways, was a gentle giant. I’d learned that years ago when he’d gone out of his way to meet me and tell me about Bucky.

I pushed onto my toes so I could reach his ear, “Take care of him, okay?”

As we pulled apart, he nodded, understanding what I meant. “As long as you make sure to take care of yourself too,” he added as he pulled Sam’s red button from his pocket.

I stared at it for a moment, considering rejecting his offer, but I ended up closing my fingers around it and slipping it in my jacket.

“Be honest Rogers,” I continued as I ignored Nat and Wanda’s jokes that caused Nikki to giggle for the first time in days. “I know I didn’t leave him in the best condition last time, but am I doing the same thing now?”

Steve’s fingers brushed my elbow, “No. Not at all.”

My gaze fell to his chest and shoulders as I worked up the courage to tell him the truth. “Then why does it feel like I am?”

His brows furrowed in sympathy and he pulled me in for one more hug.

As I reached for the button for the elevator I realized our bags were now being carried by the young brunette man. “Um, have we met?” I asked as Nikki hugged Steve.

“No-, no. I’m Peter,” he smiled as he awkwardly shifted the bags on his shoulders and then reached out to offer his hand.

“Ahhh, Stark told me about you.”

His eyes lit up at my words, “Oh, he did?” I gave him a small nod as the elevator doors opened. “I guess I’m his stand in today since I’m supposed to be taking you guys home.”

“Well, what moderately sized shoes you have to fill,” I joked and the tiniest chuckle slipped past the kids lips.

As I stepped onto the elevator and said goodbye to my super friends for the last time for a while, my eyes bounced past them and found Bucky’s gaze again. His eyes were wide and vulnerable as he leaned an elbow on his knee.

I wanted to stick a hand out for the door, push past everyone and walk to him. I wanted to hug him, tell him I would be okay. That him and Nikki saved me and everything would turn out alright. And more than that, I wanted to say I was sorry again. Sorry for walking away from him those years ago. Sorry for leaving him when he probably needed me more than ever.

But I didn’t do any of those things.

I forced a smile and mouthed goodbye to him. His features softened as the hint of a smile crinkled his eyes, and he pushed up from his seat. My heart beat hard in my chest as he took a couple steps down the hallway. At the same time, Nikki stepped into the elevator and knotted her fingers with mine. Bucky’s gaze dropped to our hands and with it, the little shred of hope that had lit up his face disappeared. Having realized I’d seen his wistful glance, he forced another tight lipped smile, clearly masking his disappointment. Just that look broke my heart and made me nearly call out to him with a goofy one-liner to ease his pain.

Instead, I just lifted my hand and gave him the tiniest twitch of my fingers, barely a wave. He lifted his own hand and returned the gesture. As the elevator doors shut on us, my own bruised face reflected back at me.

Nikki was too busy chatting with Peter to notice, but my expression mirrored Bucky’s regret.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you, thank you, thank you for waiting for this update! I graduated from undergrad and my job's been working me pretty hard, so I haven't had a lot of time to write, but I'm hoping to have this story finished by the end of summer!


	13. Useless Hope

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A year's passed and the reader reenters the teams life in a new way. How do they all handle it?  
> As usual, hopping between 1st and 3rd person POV.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so, so, very sorry it's taken me 6 MONTHS to update this, but I promise I'm still trying y'all.

The edge of my high heel tapped against the slick floors outside of Pepper Pott’s office. This was too big of an opportunity to pass up, but that didn’t stop me from being so nervous about it. I needed a job. I’d actually needed one since I’d finished healing. Since I’d stopped talking to anyone on the team but Wanda and Sam. Since Nikki and I had broken up.

A year had passed since I’d been in a building owned by Tony Stark, although I was pretty sure that Pepper actually owned all these buildings now. It was her company.

She knew about me, I knew she had to. The message she’d left me last week was too friendly for her to not know about me. Tony had to have told her what the team had done for me, and what I’d done to them.

I’d sent them on a year long mission to track down Ghost, and yet they still knew very little. There was no actual name for him, only a string of aliases he deserted after each use. He rarely met his employees or his clients in person, and when he did he always obscured his face or phased between corporeality and not. And his ability to hack was nearly unparalleled. Tony even hired better hackers than himself, and few could foil the guy. And when they did, it was only for a second before their computers tended to catch on fire.

What they had found was that he considered himself an activist. An anti-capitalist, targeting politicians and the government quite a bit. Which is why Tony and the Avengers had found themselves in his sights.

I’d been safe since Konstantin’s death. No one had bothered me back in Virginia, but my panic button still sat safely in my purse, clutched against my hip even today.

I glanced at my phone one last time and Pepper’s office door opened as my phone clock changed. Right on time.

“Hi (Y/N),” she smiled as she motioned for me to follow her through the frosty glass of her office. Pushing out of my seat, I tucked my purse under my arm and took a deep breath. I got this.

“Hello, Pepper,” I forced, trying make myself feel and look less stressed. I followed her into her spacious, minimalistic, and bright space. A full wall of her office was nothing but window, and for a moment I got caught on the fact that I could see almost all of Manhattan. She was on the 42nd floor, and although I’d never been afraid of heights, I could develop that phobia if I were to stay here too long.

I waited until she took a seat behind her glass desk, and the second I sunk into the plush chair across from her, I knew I’d never want to get up. Her hair was pinned back tightly, just more evidence of the tidy order by which she runs her life and her company. I almost laughed as I tried to imagine her and Tony having a shared living space. Him being so chaotic and her so organized. But then Tony probably paid people to keep his life together.

Pepper leaned her elbows on her desk as she watched me closely, her lips betraying the smallest smile. “Take some deep breaths, (Y/N). This is just a friendly interview, nothing too scary or serious.”

“Sorry,” I simpered. “I just really want this job.”

“Well luckily for you, you have some amazing references,” she winked and settled back in her seat. “So tell me why you want this so badly?”

“Uhh, the last year has been tough,” my eyes darted down to her desk, and barely caught the ring on her finger, but then tried to focus back on her face. “After what happened, after I missed all that work, my job was not waiting for me when I got back. It would be great to actually have a job that puts my skills to use.”

“That’s a good start.”

“And I’m not sure how involved the team would be with all this, but I don’t want to get this position from just my connections alone. I want my qualifications to speak for themselves.”

Pepper glanced toward the tablet on her desk that she had my resume pulled up on. “I knew you were qualified for this job before I even reached out to you. What I really wanted to talk to you about was how you feel about all this.”

“Oh, I’d be more than happy to take on this position.”

“But do you think you can separate the team from you needing to do your job?”

“I’d like to think I could, and as long as they’re not my direct clients, I stand by that. But I’m also completely aware that it’s a conflict of interest if they are my clients. They’re my friends and they’ve done so much for me. No matter how hard I’d try to be impartial and professional, I know I could never fully do that.”

Pepper’s controlled smile turned into a full grin. “And that’s exactly what I wanted to hear.” She closed out of my resume and stood up quickly. She reached across the desk to offer me her hand and panic shot through me. Did I just fuck this up? I took her hand as I got up, my pinched brows betraying my confusion.

“You’ve got the job.”

* * *

The team stepped off the quinjet, already peeling off their suits and hurrying to get a shower. It had been the first mission Tony had gone on in a while, and he was feeling a little rusty. He made a mental note to try to get Peter out of class next time something this last minute came up, and then he made an amendment to that note to only do it in a huge emergency.

Bucky pulled off his fingerless glove and popped open the snaps on his vest as he headed up the stairs. Tony jogged after him as the nanomites of his suit retreated to his watch. Tony’s fingers barely ghosted Bucky’s shoulder before he turned quickly, leveling Tony with a glare, “What Stark?”

“I uh, wanted to have a friendly chat,” Tony forced a smile, but it didn’t make it past his lips.

“We don’t do that,” Bucky answered, tilting his head to the side.

“You’re right,” Tony nodded and followed Bucky as he continued down the hall. “But I figured it’d be better for you to hear it from me, than to find out another way.”

“What is it?”

“So there was an opening within Stark Industries and Pepper needed it filled pretty quickly. After looking at several resumes that were-”

“Tony,” Bucky cut in.

“(Y/N) now works for Stark Industries.” Tony’s words made Bucky hesitate as he reached his door. “Her office is in Manhattan and she won’t be seeing any of you guys as part of her job, she’ll strictly be working with the Stark security team and the HR department, but as you know the security team often has individuals stationed here that don’t have to answer to the government or the UN.”

Barnes opened his door, keeping his back to Tony and he didn’t respond to his words. He stepped into his room but Tony stuck his hand out, catching the door before it closed. As eager as Barnes seemed to escape him, Tony still wasn’t done.

“We tried to figure out a way to keep her away from here for safety purposes, but I can’t promise that you’ll never see her around.”

Bucky’s fingers clenched around his door knob as he turned back to Tony, “Thank you for letting me know.”

He tried to yank the door closed but Tony pried it open again. He was never very good at being concise. “Also, we’re throwing her a welcome party at our penthouse in the city. The team will be attending, but I figured you might want to steer clear,” the way Bucky’s eyes bore into Tony’s made him nearly gulp, “or not.”

“Thanks,” Bucky answered as he forced the door closed.

Tony stood there for a second, stunned somehow by the coldness Bucky exhibited that barely hid his actual reaction. Tony had only seen Bucky this shaken once. When he’d found out (Y/N) was abducted last year. But maybe it was time for him to get used to a Bucky with more emotional range.

* * *

Bucky didn’t know how to process this. There were so many things swirling around in his chest. Happiness that she had a good job and would be closer to the team if she needed them. Trepidation because he might actually have to acknowledge her existence to the others. Fear that her being involved with the company would only continue to put her in harm’s way. Hope that he’d see her, even just in passing. Longing to do more than just see her. And the smallest tinge of anger that a year later, he still couldn’t promise her safety. And that maybe he never could.

It all bubbled up in him so rapidly that he actually had to reach out for the wall next to his door to keep himself stable. He’d tried so hard to bury all this. She’d been out of sight, out of mind.

He hadn’t said her name since right after she’d left a year ago. He hadn’t checked on her through the teams surveillance or connections. She’d even stopped frequenting his dreams. He was trying to move on.

He had actually gone on a couple dates a few months back. Of course Natasha had set it up, but it didn’t really go anywhere.

Sure, he hadn’t felt the same way about anyone else as he did her, and he was pretty sure he never would. But he’d made peace with that. After all the terrible things he’d done, it was okay if he couldn’t be with her. That only seemed fair.

But he didn’t know if he could see her around, just casually working, talking to Stark’s people. His ability to not think about her, think about how much he missed her, only worked if she was far away. Absent from his life, never close enough to see or talk to.

But that didn’t seem like a luxury he would have much longer.

* * *

The town car came to a stop at the end of the block, but I couldn’t force my fingers to move for the door handle. Of course Stark’s car service gave me no option, as the driver got out and opened the door for me.

His eyes caught mine and for a second, his professional facade dropped as he squatted in front of the door. “Need me to circle around the block a couple times?”

Would delaying this make it any less unnerving? Less uncomfortable?

Sure, these were my friends and acquaintances, but this whole night dedicated just to me getting hired felt weird and wrong. And no one knew that Nikki wouldn’t be coming. No one knew anything about my last year alone.

But putting this off or cancelling would only leave more questions for me to answer.

“No, but thank you,” I answered and he nodded. He pushed himself up and offered his hand to help me out of the backseat. I took it, using him to steady my steps as I tried to stand in my heels. I hadn’t worn a pair this high or this unsupportive in a long time. Match them with some restrictively tight undergarments to make sure my dress would be flattering, and walking had become near impossible.

The driver offered to help me into the building but I dropped his hand quickly. Of all the things I had to do tonight, walking in this outfit needed to be the easiest. But he stayed behind to make sure I got into the building alright.

After I pushed through the glass doors I looked back at him, letting him know I’d be okay. He gave me one last nod and finally walked back around the car. Another deep breath in, and I pressed the elevator button.

Would Bucky be here tonight? I knew Wanda and Sam were coming, they’d texted me congratulating me for getting the job and telling me how excited they were to see me tonight, but who else would be there. Obviously Pepper and Tony would be there, they were the hosts of this party, but would Steve bother? And would Nat show up? And if they did, wouldn’t they have told Bucky to stay away to make this easier for both of us?

The elevator binged as the doors opened, reminding me that I had somewhere to be. I stepped inside and immediately noticed the security cameras in the corners. As I pushed the penthouse button a woman’s voice spoke to me.

“We’ve been expecting you, (Y/N).” I pulled my hand back as the elevator doors closed and looked around the tiny space. “I didn’t mean to startle you, I’m F.R.I.D.A.Y. and I work for Mr. Stark.”

“Ohh-, okay.” I squeezed my hands together as I felt us ascend.

“Are you cold?” she asked. “I can warm the elevator up.”

“Uh, no,” I answered, noticing how my twitchy, clenched hands might give her that idea. “I’m just nervous. But I would take something to warm up my insides.”

“I do not have the ability to serve you a cocktail while you’re in this elevator, but I assure you there will be plenty of drinks at your destination.”

“Thank you,” I smiled. And I knew she was just AI, but I could imagine F.R.I.D.A.Y. smiling with me.

The elevator reached the penthouse as she left me with her last piece of advice, “Enjoy yourself tonight, (Y/N). This is a Stark party, and Tony loves a fun and inebriated time, you should try to as well.”

And with that, the doors slid open.

The open-concept space was a soft blue tone, and a gold banner that read “congratulations” hung from the ceiling. People were scattered around the room, seated on various couches and chairs. Sam jumped up first as I stepped out of the elevator. His warm smile greeted me as he yelled, “Congratulations!” and rushed to me. His long arms wrapped around me tightly, reminding me of his wings for only a moment.

Wanda approached us, but Sam’s arms continued squeezing me as he spoke into my ear, “I’ve missed you so much, (Y/N).” I hugged him back and he lifted me off the ground. My eyes grew wide with surprise as I made eye contact with Wanda. A smile graced her features and I knew she was doing her best not to laugh at me.

There was a group of people standing behind her, some I knew but several I didn’t, and I knew she caught onto the overwhelming anxiety running through me. Sam’s comfort might have kept me together outwardly, but my brain and heart were a different story.

Wanda reached out for a champagne flute as a caterer passed by and held it out to me. When Sam finally let my feet touch the ground, I patted him on the back and reached for her offering. Alcohol would hopefully make my brain quiet. She gave me a second to down it before her own arms wrapped around me. “I know this is the most attention you’ve had on you since last year, but I promise this room won’t be trying to cut you open or stitch you up.”

“Speak for yourself, I have a feeling some of these business people would love to do just that to me. And you know I would have been chugging champagne then if I hadn’t been on copious pain killers.”

Her laugh brushed my cheek as she pulled back, and I wished I could just stay locked into this private moment for another second. Wanda knew what I was thinking, what I was feeling. And she’d probably be the only person that night who understood what I was going through.

“It’s good to see you. And it’s even better that you’re in one piece now,” a woman’s voice snarked from behind me. Nat. She grabbed me before my fingers even left Wanda’s shoulders. Her hair covered my eyes and I pushed it away before I hugged her back. As I looked past our group, two familiar forms stood at the other side of the room.

Steve was one of them, his hands tucked in his pockets as he smiled at me, his head tilted forward in a greeting. The other sent a jolt through me.

Metal and flesh hands joined around a beer bottle, shoulders squared off, making himself tall. But his blue eyes met mine and then bounced away. Even after all this time away from each other, we still weren’t at the place to pretend to be friendly. And god, how I wished we were already. It would make this night easier.

“Where’s Nikki?” Nat asked as she let me go.

I hesitated, not sure how they’d take this. Would they be happy I was single again? Would they try to push me back towards Bucky, if he was even still interested? Or would they try to play it off like it was nothing and tiptoe around the subject for the rest of the night? Or would Nat try to set me up with someone new, since she was well known for trying to play matchmaker.

“Oh uh, we… we broke up about a year ago.”

“What?” Sam asked, blinking as he stepped closer to me. “What did she do? Did she-”

“No Sam,” I shook my head and placed a hand on his arm. “It was mutual. We-, we weren’t the same people when we went back to Virginia as we were when we left.”

“I was really rooting for you two,” Nat cut in. “But sometimes it’s better to move on than stick around and be unhappy.”

A gentle hand rested on my shoulder and I immediately felt my mood perk up. It was Wanda, doing her best to keep me together. But she couldn’t stay attached to me the entire night.

“I’d really rather not talk about it tonight,” I managed a tight-lip smile. “I’m here to see you all and meet some of my new coworkers.”

“Then you’re gonna need another drink for that,” Wanda grinned. I nodded at her, and as she took her hand off me, every thing she’d suppressed came rushing back. My worry that this conversation about Nikki wasn’t over. Concern that this night would be a trainwreck, and that nobody would like me at Stark Industries. The fear that Bucky and I would get shoved together, and that I would only end up hurting him again. And the dread that maybe Bucky had moved past me. That maybe whatever part of me that still loved him, had always loved him, was just clinging to something I could never have.

I took one more deep breath as she handed me another drink, and then turned to the rest of the party with a forced smile.

* * *

“I’d like to make a toast,” Tony announced 30 minutes into the party. I’d barely made it through half of the Stark Industries’ representatives, and another drink. The crowd grew quiet though, and I was glad to turn away from the boring shop talk a couple of executives had roped me into. I didn’t even know what half of it meant, and I was pretty sure it wouldn’t be important to my position either.

“You’re all here because (Y/N Y/L/N) tonight. She’s the newest addition to the Stark Industries family.”

“It’s a company, not a family,” Pepper cut in, knowing Tony might have been talking to the Avengers team and not actually her employees. “But we encourage you all to get familiar with each other. (Y/N) will likely have to review or work with all of you eventually.”

“But tonight’s celebration isn’t just to congratulate her on her new position. It’s also to congratulate her on her regained safety.” My heart jumped into my throat, drying out my mouth as I desperately tried to swallow the discomfort.

“Last year (Y/N) was placed in harm’s way and got pretty banged up in the process. But tonight, I’m glad to announce that the person who harmed her is in custody.” Tony’s eyes held mine and he nodded at me, reacting to my wide eyes. “He’ll be put in the darkest cell imaginable, and won’t be able to hurt anyone ever again. So tonight is to new beginnings for her within the company, and to shutting the door on a traumatizing experience.”

“I can’t wait to see how (Y/N) flourishes at Stark Industries,” Pepper added, rerouting my congratulations speech. “And I have faith that she’ll bring nothing but support, innovation, and balance to us.”

The crowd turned to me, their hands clapping, their faces smiling, but I couldn’t hang on that. Ghost was in custody. Ghost was going to be in prison. I was supposed to be safe, but I felt everything but that. If he was in custody, that meant that he was closer to us than he had been in a year. He was close enough to hurt anyone of us in person.

I forced a smile until the applause died down, and then I headed for the bar. Maybe alcohol would dull this overwhelming dread in my gut.

I’d heard the rumors about what Ghost could do. He could be invisible, he could walk through walls. He was known for never being caught, and him suddenly being in custody? That didn’t feel right. Unless he wanted to be in custody. What could he do from inside? Who could he hurt?

I couldn’t handle anyone being hurt or killed because they went after him. Because they wouldn’t leave him alone after what he had done to me. I wasn’t worth the trouble.

The bartender placed a whiskey in front of me, my second of the night, and I gulped it down greedily. She noticed and poured me another before I had the chance to ask. As I nursed the third, my limbs grew heavier, the liquor was starting to work so much that I didn’t recognize the quiet “Hey” that came from my left.

I turned to him. His blue eyes focusing on the drink in my hand, still avoiding my eyes. His dark hair had grown out and was pulled into a tiny bun behind his head. And he was dressed nicer than I’d ever seen him. From across the room, I thought he was in jeans, but I was wrong. He had on a nice pair of wool pants and a white button-down dress shirt. But he was never a formal guy. His sleeves were rolled up to his elbows and he still had boots on, they just weren’t of the military variety. His metal hand held his own drink, an American brand beer.

“Hey,” I answered, the word coming out quiet and breathy. His eyes rose to mine, and whatever the alcohol had been dulling transformed into something even sharper. Heartbreak.

I thought we were okay. I thought we’d left things in a good place this time, but my heart hurt as I stared at him and he stared right back. It would have been easier if he was over me. It would have been easier if I’d lied and said Nikki couldn’t come tonight. But I hadn’t, and somehow he’d found out. There was the tiniest gleam of hope there. Hope that this might be our time.

But I couldn’t promise him that. And I didn’t know if I ever could again.

“Congratulations on the job. You deserve it,” he spoke, his voice low. He finally let my gaze go and looked back at his drink.

“I’m sorry that this-, this is how we’re having to do this. You shouldn’t have to see me at work. You shouldn’t have to talk to me at a Stark party. You don’t deserve that.”

His head turned quickly, a confused look pinching his brows, “What are you talking about?” That look pulled at my chest. He looked like my Bucky. But he wasn’t my Bucky, and he hadn’t been for a long time.

“I didn’t have to talk to you tonight. I didn’t have to come. Tony actually begged me not to. And Steve’s been offering to run interference so I wouldn’t have to talk to you for a week.” A soft chuckle curled his bottom lip. “I had to sick the kid on him to get him away from me.”

He moved to the side, revealing Peter excitedly talking to a politely interested Steve at the other end of the bar. I felt my own smile twist up my lips. And I saw his hope blossoming into something bigger.

“I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t want to be.”

“But why would you want to be here? I broke your heart. I left you.”

“I-, I know. But I can’t ignore you forever. We’ll have to see each other at HQ.”

“I figured we’d just keep it civil. Polite greetings in passing.” The alcohol may have stopped working on my emotions, but it certainly had loosened my mouth. I would have never admitted that to him before.

“I hope we can be more than just civil, (Y/N). It might, actually be nice if we could even be friends.”

After everything that had happened between us, could we be just that? Friends? I wasn’t sure, but I’d hoped we could try it out someday.

“I- I’d like that,” I nodded. We smiled at each other for a moment, and my own villainous hope started to bubble up too. I didn’t need to get his, or my own feelings built up to just get tore down again. I couldn’t do that to him again.

“(Y/N)! Congratulations!” a chipper voice whooped from behind me. It was Peter with Steve in tow, and I exchanged a private glance at Bucky. He rolled his eyes before turning to them. Steve still wasn’t giving up.

Peter threw his arms around me and squeezed me tightly. I’d met this boy once and I barely even knew anything about him, but that didn’t seem to matter to him. Plus, the overwhelming scent of liquor that came from mouth might have had something to do with his friendliness.

Steve’s hand came down on Peter’s shoulder, trying to reign him back in. He tugged him away from me and gave me a sympathetic shrug.

“I can’t wait to see you around more often! Maybe you’ll tell me about these guy’s personal lives, since they literally never tell me anything. But they know everything about me!” I couldn’t help but smile back at his goofy grin.

“You’re an open book Pete,” Steve cut in, trying to push Peter away from the bar. “It’s good to see you. And congratulations.”

Steve visibly struggled with forcing Peter to leave me alone, and he gave Bucky a panicked look. That soft, warm chuckle graced my ears again, nearly melting my insides.

“He’s a lot stronger than he looks,” Bucky added as he pushed out of his stool. I watched him use his metal arm to grab Peter’s other shoulder to force him forward. “I’ll see you around, (Y/N).”

“See ya,” I barely got out before Nat was sliding into the space Bucky had just left.

“Feeling a little fucked up yet? Because you absolutely should,” she asked as she ordered a refill of her cocktail.

“Ohh in more ways than one.” I glanced one last time over my shoulder at Bucky. A smile stretched across his face as he tried to get Peter away from the small dancefloor.

“I can’t help you with all of that, but I’ll make sure you get home safe.”

And she did.

After I finally got to thank Tony and Pepper for their kindness and generosity, Nat loaded us into a town car and took me back to my new apartment. Unsurprisingly, she knew my address better than I did. And while I didn’t remember asking her to spend the night, I woke up the next morning to her making pancakes in my kitchen, wearing a set of my pajamas that we’re way too big for her.

But even having her there only reduced the fear gnawing at me slightly.


End file.
